=(

Man! I can't believe I got ticked off for being on the phone for an hour with my old pal. And it wasn't even my parents who did it, but my aunt! Grrrr! Still mad when I think about it. I feel so... wronged.

Nightmare

her: I had a nightmare.
me: What is it?
her: I dreamt that I was getting married to a guy.
me: Huh?!
her: Yeah... This is the 1st time I ever had a nightmare like that before.
me: Wow... At least, tell me he was cute.
her: Erm... I couldn't see his face
me: Okay... Was he tall?
her: Erm... I guess you could say that...
me: Wow... So, I guess you really want to get married that bad, huh
her: I guess so...
me: Okay... Let's get married next year!
her: Huh?! No!
me: Why not?
her: That's like, around the corner.
me: Hmmm... Yeah!
her: But we're hardly going to see each other... What kind of marriage is this?
me: Erm... You could always... exchange to come over and study
her: Baby...
me: Baby...
her: ...
me: Baby... I was only joking
her: THANK YOU!
me: Hahahaha... You totally fell for that, didn't you?
her: Only for a minute...! Hahaha...

(That idiot of mine... Can't believe she fell for it that easily... LOL! Sure wish I could see her face when she found out I was just pulling her leg.)

My Chemical Romance - Disenchanted

Well I was there on the day
They sold the cars for the queen,
And when the lights all went out
We watched our lives on the screen.
I hate the ending myself,
But it started with an alright scene.

It was the roar of the crowd
That gave me heartache to sing.
It was a lie when they smiled
And said, "you won't feel a thing"
And as we ran from the cops
We laughed so hard it would sting

Yeah yeah, oh

If I'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How can you listen all night long? (night long, night long)
Now will it matter after I'm gone?
Because you never learn a goddamned thing.

You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a lifelong wait for a hospital stay
Well if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to ya

I spent my high school career
Spit on and shoved to agree
So I can watch all my heroes
Sell a car on tv
Bring out the old guillotine
We'll show them what we all mean.

Yeah yeah, oh

If I'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How can you listen all night long? (night long, night long)
Now will it matter long after I'm gone?
Because you never learn a goddamned thing.

You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a lifelong wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to ya

So go, go away, just go, run away.
But where did you run to? And where did you hide?
Go find another way, price you pay

Woah, woah, woah
Woah, woah, woah

You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a lifelong wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to ya, come on

You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a lifelong wait for a hospital stay
Well if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to ya

At all, at all, at all, at all...

Whatever It Takes - Leona Lewis

4th Dec

Dinner



















Lunch


Granny's bday was on Thursday, and since Aunty Monica was around, we went for lunch at this Crystal Jade restaurant. Wanted to have dim sum, so was kinda disappointed that the selection there was so limited. But lunch wasn't too bad afterall. Pretty enjoyable. Dinner, on the other hand, was fab! We went to the Unique Seafood Restaurant, the same place we went last year for Grandpa's bday. Between the 8 of us, we had: longevity noodles, oysters, kailan, German knuckles, fish, beans, and ostrich meat. We even had room for supper... much later on.

The whole time Aunty Monica was here, we had mahjong sessions. The routine would be: wake up, eat, go out, eat, come back, mahjong, dinner, mahjong, sleep. It was a pretty enjoyable break. The whole mahjong thing was cool. I have no idea, why, when I saw Aunty Monica, I had the urge to play mahjong. Never felt that urge for a long long time already. Makes me think back on the times when YiPoh (grand aunty) would come over, and we would literally spend our time cooped up inside the house to play mahjong. I still remember, we would have 3 rounds per day, and everybody would play till around 1, 2 am b4 hitting the pillows.

And let us not forget the times b4 Aunty Monica and family migrated to kangaroo land. They would come over every year, and during the later years, they would stay at SuiteStay, those service apartments. Nice and comfy, we would all gather at their place b4 deciding what to do. KLCC is just behind her place, and we could literally reach that mall in 10 minutes. Mostly, there'll be 2 groups: shopping and mahjong. I miss playing with Uncle Cyril. It's been ages since we last sat down to play together. Ah.... Mahjong sure brings back lots of fond memories.

But I digress. This year, Granny didn't blow out any candles or ate any birthday cake. This year, Aunty Julie couldn't make it back. But this year, all of us had a blast, and it's pretty obvious that Granny loved every minute of it as well.

(Oh btw! I recall Anne asking me to post some pics of myself. So Anne. Satisfied? hahahaha)

Leona Lewis - I Will Be

This song was dedicated to me by my baby... Enjoy...

Avril Lavigne - Hot

You're so good to me Baby Baby
I want to lock you up in my closet, where no one's around
I want to put your hand in my pocket, because your allowed
I want to drive you into a corner, and kiss you without a sound
I want to stay this way forever, I'll say it loud
Now you in and you can't get out

You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
You're so ridiculous
I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous
You're so good to me Baby Baby
You're so good to me Baby Baby

I can make you feel all better, just take it in
And I can show you all the places, you've never been
And I can make you say everything, that you never said
And I will let you do anything, again and again
Now you're in and you can't get out

You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
You're so ridiculous
I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous
You're so good to me Baby Baby
You're so good to me Baby Baby

Kiss me gently
Always I know
Hold me love me
Don't ever go

You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
You're so ridiculous
I can barely breathe
You make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous
You're so good to me

You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
You're so ridiculous
I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous
You're so good to me Baby Baby
You're so good to me Baby Baby

You're so good

Standing Tall

Westlife - Us Against The World

Us against the world
Against the world
Us against the world
Against the world

You and I, we've been at it so long
But still got the strongest fire
You and I, we still know how to talk
Know how to walk that wire

Sometimes I feel like the world is against me
The sound of your voice, baby, that's what saves me
When we're together I feel so invincible

'Cause it's us against the world, you and me, against them all
If you're listening to this words know that we're standing tall
I don't ever see the day that I won't catch you when you fall
'Cause it's us against the world, tonight

Us against the world
Against the world

There'll be days when we're on different sides
But that doesn't last too long
We find ways to get it on track
And know how to turn back on

Sometimes I feel I can't keep it together
Then you hold me close and you make it better
When I'm with you I can feel so unbreakable

'Cause it's us against the world, you and me, against them all
If you're listening to this words know that we're standing tall
I don't ever see the day that I won't catch you when you fall
'Cause it's us against the world, tonight

We're not going to break 'cause we both still believe
We know what we've got and we've got what we need
Alright, we're doing something right

'Cause it's us against the world, you and me, against them all
If you're listening to this words know that we're standing tall
I don't ever see the day that I won't catch you when you fall

Us against the world, you and me, against them all
If you're listening to this words know that we're standing tall
I don't ever see the day that I won't catch you when you fall
Us against the world, yeah, it's us against the world, baby
Us against the world tonight

Us against the world
Against the world
Us against the world

A dozen

Mom wants 12 grand kids, and none adopted... I wonder, whether mummy wants that many as well... LOL!!!

When mom told me about this, I just looked at her, and started laughing. I was eating cendol, 'Green Worms', when we were talking about this. I can't help laughing, it was so funny!! Then she looked at me, and said that I'm useless, and she'll settle for 3... Hahahaha...

I sent Panda a message in MySpace, and I can just imagine the look on her face. Now, that is priceless. I should have just waited till she's over here before breaking the news to her... Hahahahaha...

Hero

Hero - Enrique Iglesias

Would you dance
if I asked you to dance?
Would you run
and never look back?
Would you cry
if you saw me cry?
And would you save my soul, tonight?

Would you tremble
if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh?
Oh please tell me this.
Now would you die
for the one you loved?
Hold me in your arms, tonight.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

Would you swear
that you'll always be mine?
Or would you lie?
would you run and hide?
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care...
You're here tonight.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

Oh, I just want to hold you.
I just want to hold you.
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care...
You're here tonight.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by your forever.
You can take my breath away.

I can be your hero.
I can kiss away the pain.
And I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.
You can take my breath away.

I can be your hero.

GD

Gavin DeGraw - I'm In Love With A Girl

So many people gonna say that they want you,
To try to get you thinking they really care,
But there's nothing like the warmth of the one who has put in the time and you know he's gonna be there,
Back your border when she knows someone crossed it,
Don't let nobody put you down, who your with
Take the pain of protecting your name, from the crutch to the cane to the high wire

I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the woman just when i met her,
Took my sweet time when i was bitter,
Someone understands,
And she knows how to treat a fella right,
Give me that feeling every night,
Wants to make love when i wanna fight,
Now someone understand me,
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)(x2)

Out the many broken back doors and windows,
Through the valley of the love of the lost,
Is a hole that is cut through the souls falling down from the thrones without needing innuendos,
But you found inner peace for the moment,
The moment was over in time,
Then its gone the hit and run the tactless one has a short life

I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the woman just when i met her,
Took my sweet time when i was bitter,
Someone understands,
And she knows how to treat a fella right,
Give me that feeling every night,
Wants to make love when i wanna fight,
Now someone understand me,
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)(x2)

Gonna tell you what you do to think you practice what you preach,
Now i know there's nothing we can't reach,
'cause the heart can't erase once it finds a place to be warm and welcome,
To be held in shelter

I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the woman just when i met her
Took my sweet time when i was bitter
Someone understands,
And she knows how to treat a fella right
Give me that feeling every night
Wants to make love when i wanna fight
Now someone understands me
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)(x3)
Who knows me better
Wants to make love when i wanna fight
Now someone understand me

perv

And so, most of the drama is over. I'm still hesitant over the ending tho.

Anyway. A recap of the happenings during the past few days.

Lil panda was in hospital and there's this nurse, B, who was very attracted to her. B, under the pretense of giving panda a sponge bath, took advantage of her, by, kissing, licking and touching her private parts very intimately. Even to the extend of joining panda in bed. Of course, panda had no idea this was happening because she was heavily medicated.

We, decided to put a stop to it after B refused to heed our warnings and threats, and the hospital refused to take our word for it. We hooked up spycams around the room to catch B doing it again. We, only told panda at the last minute and she was freaking pissed off at all of us and refused to talk to any of us. Anyway, we managed to catch B on tape and we gave the hospital administrators a copy of this tape. They fired B immediately and gave panda a full waiver of the hospital fees. According to my friend, B will not be able to get a job as a nurse anymore.

The things B did to panda is so sickening. I close my eyes, and I can vaguely picture her doing it. I feel sick because there was no way I could have stopped her. I don't blame panda for getting pissed off and mad at all of us. I don't blame her for her hurtful words. I just hope she gets over this soon.

This is the simplified version. I don't have the stomach to go into details. So just ask me if you really really need to know.

pissed

i dont need more drama in my goddamn life anymore. what's with exams, not understanding what i'm studying, friend in a coma, gf with a broken arm, and now a NURSE who is fucking trying to take advantage of my gf? No fucking way is that bitch getting away with touching what's mine. she's fucking going to pay for what she did to my gf. So God help me, or else you'll rue the day you decided to mess with what's mine.

So i'm possessive, but this calls for extreme measures. So to anyone out there who has any intention of messing around with my gf, mark my words. Turn back before it's too late, or else I will personally make sure that you'll pay tenfold whatever you did to my gf. So heed my warning, I'm not exactly one to issue threats lightly.

short

Ok. This is downright insane. My friend was hit by a car and is in a goddamn coma, and my gf is sporting a broken arm for beating up the bitch that did this to our friend. Bloody fucked up bitch I tell you. Just because you got rejected, and got beaten up when you refused to back down, doesn't give you the right to hit my friend down with a car. What the hell is your problem anyway? Well, at least she's behind bars now. Man, I want to hurt her too, for hurting my friend, and my gf as well.

On a different note, I need help. Help me, teach me to sweep her off her feet and leave her breathless. I sure as hell need help. I'm out of ideas already, seeing how that princess decided to do it next year. Wow. She's too blardy romantic for me to compete. So you people need to help me. Help, help, HELP!! *grumbles*

proud

Imagine someone said this about you: I have an anouncement to make, i'm in love and i'm engaged to my beautiful gf and her name is XXX. My heart belongs to her and i will love her until the day i stop breathing. So if you are looking for something more than a friendship back off because it will never happen.

I've never had someone who stood up for me in that manner before. Of course, you can imagine that I have a stupid grin on my face the whole time. I was floating, literally. She really kept her word. There's nothing to be jealous about. She's even announcing it to the whole world that we are engaged. Sure we are, but I'll still like to get her a ring, even if it's only symbolic now.

She's sweet. It sure feels nice having someone defend you like that. One day, perhaps one day, I'll show her jz how much she really means to me after all. =)

Wedding bells

Like the idiot I am, I just realized I never blogged about the recent joyous event that happened. My uncle, Andrew Chong, got married! So what's the big deal, you ask me. Well, no offense dear uncle, but he's huge, and what I really mean is fat, and they have been dating for so long it seems like forever.

Anyway, they tied the knot on Saturday, with a church ceremony in the morning, and tea carrying ceremonies at their respective places, and a dinner reception at Jaya Palace, PJ. Ok. Details.

We, meaning, me, mom, grandparents, grand auntie and kevin (i dun like to call him uncle cz it's weird calling someone my age uncle eventho that is his title), uncle john and auntie candy, arrived at auntie Ah Yoong's place (sorry la, I dunno how to spell her english name) on Thursday. We reached in the evening, and after dinner, and everybody took a short break, they started playing mahjong. In the midst of the game, uncle Wing Ho brought out the bottle of Kahlua, coffee liquour. We mixed it with Smirnoff, premium vodka, on the rocks. It was nice.

The next day, being a Friday, we actually wanted to go Sunway Pyramid to do a little bit of shopping. But since the hostesses were busy, we called it off. We spent the whole day at the mahjong table. Mel came over in the evening, and we had a good time. We, meaning me, kevin and mel each had a can of beer. Mel had Budweister, while kevin and I had Guiness. After that, we had a couple of rounds of Kahlua with Smirnoff and a dash of milk with a couple of ice cubes. It was way better then the 1st taste. After that, we broke open the Finlandia, a mango infused vodka. It was alright. The mango covered the smell of the vodka. After that, we tried the De Kuyper, a butterscotch caremel liquour. We had it neat, and it was sweet. Our 2nd and 3rd rounds, we mixed it with Smirnoff. We even told uncle Wing Ho about it. Kevin downed his 1st couple of glasses in a gulp. Wow.

We met uncle SKY. That's his initials, but everybody seems to be calling him SKY (sky). He's quite alright, I suppose. He's uncle james's good friend. He was there as an extra driver. So yea, that was Friday. I guess, I had a tad bit extra alcohol in my system that night. I couldn't really sleep. The next day, was the big day.

The church ceremony was so beautiful, I couldn't really help thinking what it would be like if it was the both of us there instead. From there, we went back to the house for the tea carrying ceremony. It was done rather haphazardly, but it was alright, I guess. Then, we went over to the bride's place, for their tea carrying ceremony. Or rather, uncle andrew was involved, but the rest of us went there for the food. I had my can of Heinekken (is that even how u spell it? i have no clue) during lunch. Yummy!

Soon enough, it was time for dinner. We, namely me, mel, and kevin helped out a little bit in the beginning. We helped distribute the chocolates, cute little things, and helped out a little bit at the reception area. Of course, we were fooling around more often then not, but, we had so little tables to our side. Well, what can I say? It was rather fun, even though I had to walk around in heels and ohgodforbid a skirt.

During dinner, which included suckling pig and roast pork, buddha jump over the wall, steamed idkhowtospell (prompret? pompret?) fish, baked live prawns and dried scallops with vegetables. These are the only dishes worth mentioning. And oh! The drinks. I had beer, red wine, whiskey and brandy. =D Yummy, delicious.

All in all, a very very very good weekend indeed. =D Cheers!!

declaration

This is just a little something I did for my baby. Hope she loves it.

The day I met you, was and still is

A blessing.

Slow as I always am, I never really realized just

How much you mean to me.

Angel,

I wish,

Long to look into your eyes,

Openly, in public, in front of everyone, and

Verify and confirm just how much I love you

Each and everyday of my life.

U, my sweet love, are the only one I surrender my everything to.

jumble

Did I mention that my idiot was involved in a car accident? Drink and drive. Sigh. That woman is making me age faster than anything. She's so accident prone that it seems like she's getting injured, on average, once a fortnight. Sigh. Anything can happen to her.

Anyway, that's just a short line about my baby. I wanted to talk about my shopping expedition with the monkie and the piglet, ie, Jein and Esther. We went shopping for something for Jein's bf, had dinner at Wendy's, and ended up spending tons of time at Giant. They had to get stuff to make hampers out of for the event they have on today.

And so, yeah, we bought like, a whole trolley full of junk food, worth around rm96++. Can you imagine it? I bet the cashier woman and everybody who saw us there thought we were gorging on junk food. =.=

We started wrapping the hampers at night, around 11+. And, we ended up finishing the wrapping at around 2. Wow. We had a lil midnight snack and studied a lil, and went back to sleep. =) Will post up the pictures after this weekend I think, or sometime when I'm somewhere with a good, fast connection. =x

Till then, ciao! I'll be at Puchong, cause my uncle is getting married on Saturday.

Mad?

In many little ways, I take after my dad. My girl and I share some common traits as well. I'm talking about grudges. Apparently, I can really hold grudges. I seem to remember clearly how people have wronged me.

But why all the talk about grudges, you may ask. Well, it's all because of today. Taryn asked me, numerous times, to have dinner with them at Yuen's Steamboat, as a birthday celebration for Shi Ni. Well, needless to say, I didn't go. But something Taryn said, and the way she said it, lingered.

"Just let it go and come to dinner with us."

Everybody figures I'm still mad. The logic is, I keep asking everybody whether I seem mad at her. This seems to prove that I'm still mad. Truth be told, I have no animosity towards her. In fact, I have no feelings whatsoever. I keep asking, is because I don't think that the way I act indicates that I'm mad at her. Everybody thinks, almost everybody thinks that I'm mad at her.

Perhaps I'm being over sensitive, but I can feel that my friends are disappointed in my actions today. Perhaps. But, I have no regrets over what I did, or did not do. With that all said and done, I just don't need someone like her in my life. As an acquaintance, I have no problem with that. I would share her gift when asked, but, I'll not go through great lengths to make a big deal out of her birthday.

To digress a bit, nobody has ever really made a big fuss out of my birthday. That's why, I would always remember how Jein and the others celebrated mine for me this year. They made me feel special. It's going to be even more special when Tashie comes over. Nobody has ever made such a big deal out of my birthday. I mean, she's coming all the way from USA just for my birthday. It's gestures like this, that really make me feel loved and wanted.

But ok. This post is not really about me. let's not steal the limelight from Shi Ni. I have nothing else to say anymore. I'm tired of repeating myself. I sound like a broken down recorder. So for the record, I am not mad. I just don't need someone like her in my life. Enough is enough. It takes a lot to happen for me to actually NOT want the friendship. Enough said.

idiot

Here's another post about my girlfriend, a full fledged post about her. She's an angel, my angel, who's going off to medical school soon. She's going to be a nurse. I totally support her, and I'm proud of her, but, it means not really being able to talk to her.


I mean, I know this would happen sooner or later. The moment she said she wants to continue her studies, I knew it would happen. These past few days have been a blessing. I would talk to her on the phone, chat with her online, and actually get replies to my emails. Never have I woken up just to sit in front of the computer except for these past few days. The moment I wake up, I call her, and we promise to meet each other online. I would sit there for hours. It makes it feel like the times we used to share, talking for hours on end, about nothing in particular. I mean, I would prefer to talk to her thro the phone, but if this is as good as it gets, I'm not complaining.

I remember not going online after 11 pm last time, during my semester break after finals. Why? Because she would call, and we would talk till 3, 4am. And the phone would always cut us off after 1 hour 30 minutes. LOL! Those were the days I would charge my phone every single day, just because we talk so long. She would even send me text message while we talk, jz to tease me or to make a point. I still remember once, I got a scolding from my dad, cz he realized that I was STILL on the phone at 4 am. I told Tashie about it, and she was like, 'oh-ho!' Haha...

But now, she's back home, and she's going to start school soon. She was the one who told me that we might not talk to each other as often as we do right now. When I read that email, as soon as I could after I woke up, I felt like crying. The sharp stabs of pain in my heart just goes to prove how much she means to me. She's such a huge part of my life. I know what life would be like without talking to her, and I don't ever want to go through that again if I can help it.

I want to be the one to wake her up each morning, and I want to be the last person to talk to her before she sleeps. I want to be there for her when she's down, when she's injured. My baby hurts herself so often I can't help shaking my head. Sigh... That idiot... I think I love her even more... =x

=/

I don't understand. I'm not even all that good. There are other people out there who are way better then me. They make way better partners then me. So pray explain to me, how can someone be in love with the thought of me? I mean, it does not really make sense. I can understand how my gf is so into me, and that's...... Oh wait. I STILL don't get how she fell in love with me. I mean, I get the whole attraction thing, but it's a whole different ball game, falling in love.

Perhaps I should not analyze so much. I mean, I should just take compliments as they come, right? I mean, I have an angel who loves me like no other, someone whose entire world is me. I should be thankful and grateful I have her in my life. I really should not ask questions right? But this. This whole business of her friend being in love with the thought of me. Oh. My. God.

What's so good about me anyway? =x

ponder

Ok. So I'm supposed to be studying. Sue me. Just visited a friend's blog. Had a chat with another friend. I wonder.

I was contented earlier on. But, somehow, I can't stop these thoughts from forming. Being gay, is after all, no fun. Never has been, never will be. There will always be people who look at you one kind. And hiding your sexuality, forms a habit in you, to hide your truest and deepest feelings and thoughts. I mean, if you can't even be open about your sexuality, you can't expect to be open about most other stuff. Your sexual orientation is the thing that affects you for life.

Ok. I was rambling. Thing is, it's never going to be simple being gay. Let's be realistic. Here in Malaysia, gays are frowned upon. People call you abnormal, freak, abomination, all because you're interested in someone of the same gender sexually. I mean, platonic interest is no big concern, but sexually? Practically 90% of Malaysians are against it. Even if they don't openly express it, you can see it in their eyes.

The hard part is not really admitting to yourself that you're gay. Ok. Perhaps it is. All this while you thought that you're normal. But when you start developing more then friendly feelings towards somebody of the same gender, you get confused and angsty and all that. Admitting to yourself that you're gay, can be like a burden lifted off your shoulders. You seek love, and find love, and you can't proclaim it to the whole world. The hardest part is coming out to people who matter to you.

You see heterosexual people hugging and kissing and being all lovey dovey in public, and there is a tugging at your heartstrings. Sure, you could do the same, but would you still do it, knowing that anytime, you might be sighted by someone whom you don't want to reveal your identity to? You hear your straight friends telling you that they brought their partner back home to introduce to their family, and how they had a good time as a whole. While they talk, you can't help wondering, how would your family react if you were to introduce your partner as your partner and not just a friend.

A note of interest is that this has nothing to do with the conversation I had, or the blog I read. This is something a friend of mine mentioned days ago. Don't get me wrong. I love my baby very very much. But there is always a nagging at the back of my head: Can I introduce her to XXX as my gf? Or just as a friend? If I'm with a huge bunch of friends, I can't exactly show too much affection, as there would be people who do not agree with our relationship. I can't even introduce her to my family, my parents, as my gf, their eventual daughter in law.

I'm not being emotional here, but more of rational thinking. Love really isn't everything. It's everything that matters, but it isn't everything. Our love for each other makes us happy, but it would not necessarily change people's minds about us. There will always be objections.

I wonder. Just because my chosen life partner happens to be someone of the same gender, does that give others the right to judge my life? I'm not saying that there are people judging me, but it's going to happen eventually. I mean, everybody deserves a chance at happily forever after... right? Everybody deserves to love and to be loved, right? Everybody deserves a shot at happiness, right? So how does it make it different if it's someone of the same sex?

So you say it's not natural. "A man and a woman" So it is decreed. But. If that is the case, why are there people who are borned gay? Is it because of genetics? Pyschologic? Upbringing? Hormones? Instinct? Trauma? I'm not refuting the Bible. All I'm saying is, if God meant for every guy to be with a woman, why are there people who are borned with the tendency to love someone of the same sex?

Sometimes, it's so confusing, this whole religion thing and society's view on gay people. Sometimes, it's just goddamn annoying. Sometimes, it's downright saddening, knowing that perhaps someday you have to choose between your family and your partner; you have to choose between being true to who you really are, and conforming to what society thinks is acceptable. It's what the Chinese says: both the palm and the back of your hand is flesh and blood. Either way, both will hurt. How are you supposed to choose?

Don't ask me what prompted me to write something as long as that. I'm just stating cold hard facts. Facts that hurt so very much. I need my baby right now.

*yawn*

I was not tagged, but i'm in the mood for tags. So here goes.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
> I would leave and cry my heart out.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
> I would want to pass all my exams and graduate on time.

3. If you were the opposite gender, what would you do?
> Be gay. (So totally agree with anne's answer) LOL

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
> Keep a portion to be invested for my kids, and the rest goes to my partner, my family and charity.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
> I don't really believe in the whole best friend concept.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
> Loving someone and being loved by the same someone. (cant negate that)

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
> I don't have to wait anymore. I already have her. =)

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
> Leave it up to fate. =P

9. Have you ever been labeled as a snatcher?
> Nopes.

10. What would make your mood change the fastest?
> My baby. If I talk to her when she's upset, my mood will change the moment I hear her voice.

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
> Happily married.

12. What do you really want at the moment of responding to this tag?
> I feel like sleeping but I really want to hear my panda's voice.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
> Well, technically, she din tag me. But Anne is really funny and nice to talk to. =P

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
> Married and rich. =P

15. What is the 1st thing you do when you wake up?
> Call my gf.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
> Duh, yes. Anything and everything.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who will you pick?
> The one with whom the future is the brightest.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
> I would forgive, but I don't think I could ever forget.

19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
> Both has its perks, but I'm currently more then happy to be with my baby. ;)

curi

Found this tag in Monkie's blog. Liked it. And since I was feeling bored (the non stop sneezing can do that to you), I decided to flinch it from her. So here goes.

1. How old are you?
> 20 lor, 21 soon... far too soon... =x

2. Are you single?
> Nopes. One could say I'm engaged. =x

3. At what age do you think you'll get married?
> Hmmm, not too sure about that... Perhaps, around 25 - 28

4. Do you think you'll be marrying the person you're with now?
> Of course. We're more or less engaged. =P

5. If not, who do you want to marry?
> Nobody else besides my baby will do.

6. Do you want a garden/beach wedding, or the traditional church wedding?
> Garden. Definitely.

7. Your ideal motif?
> Something cool, I don't know what yet. =/

8. Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?
> Anywhere. That's up to my baby.

9. How many guests do you think you'll invite?
> All my friends who are non homophobic.

10. Do you want an extravagant or a simple wedding?
> Kinda simple, I think. Just family, and friends. Nothing majorly extravagant.

11. Do you want the traditional vows, or something you'd make up on your own?
> Something I'd make up on my own, because my girl deserves nothing short of unique, and my speech would be made solely for her and about her.

12. How many layers of cake do you want to have?
> Hmmm... 3? I don't know yet...

13. When do you want to get married, morning or evening?
> Evening. More romantic. =P

14. You'd rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?
> Outdoors, I guess. I don't know.

15. Do you like a grand entrance?
> I want something that would make people sit up and that notice.

16. no question? =( skip!

17. Name the song/tune you'd liked played at your wedding.
> I'll like 'Bleeding Love' cz that's our song, but I would like to dance with her to 'The Way You Look At Me'.

18. Are you a morning or night person?
> Night. I stay up so late I can be considered a vampire already. =x

19. Do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?
> Depends on my baby.

20. What age do you want to get married?
> She says 28, I was thinking sometime earlier. =x

21. Describe your ideal husband.
> Sorry, but for me, that would be 'ideal wife'. She would be fun, loving, caring, and loyal. =D

22. Do you prefer fine dining or the normal spoon & fork/knife?
> Fine dining I guess. =X

23. Champagne or red wine?
> Champagne. It's a cause for celebration. ;)

24. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
> Right after, days after. Who cares? As long as I have my baby with me forever, either way is fine by me. =P

25. Money or household items?
> I would prefer to get my own household items thank you.

26. Who will pay for the bills?
> Together. =P

27. Are you ready for married life?
> I don't know. =P

28. Will you always be true to your wife/husband?
> Yeap!

29. How many kids do you wanna have?
> Ideally 2, a girl and a boy. LOL!

I wanna tag: Whoever that enjoys these things as much as me. =P

RSUC

And so mid sem break is here. Finally. After slogging like hell over my cramped assignment schedule, I can finally take a breather and rest for a short while before taking up my books once again. I mean, I've really got to start sometime soon.

Like I said, holidays are here. I was so supposed to meet up with a couple of friends when I came back, but, it got canceled. Therefore, I'm stuck here at home for now. But it aint all that bad... yet.

I came back yesterday, and dad drove me to town to get lunch for me. He got me Nasi Minang with beef rendang. YUMMY! I ate the whole packet, which is like, a huge bowl of rice. And that was around 3 pm. At 6 plus, we went to check out some appliances. My folks wanted to get an oven and a microwave. And so we checked out some other stuff as well since we were in the vincinity. Looked out for fridges, tvs, washing machines and water heaters. lol!

We went over to Royal Sungai Ujong Club, RSUC, for dinner. We ordered: 2 mutton briyani, 1 chicken kebab, 2 pieces of tandoori chicken, 1 tandoori naan, 2 lime juices and 1 teh tarik kurang manis. Well, most of it went down MY stomach. =D oh right. Did I mention that the briyani is very very filling? Another big place of rice. *blushes* oh! I also forgot to add the fact that I had ice cream after all that.

Fantastic dinner, only to be rivaled by perhaps, steamboat. Since I can pretty much go at least 5 rounds for steamboat, I suppose it's safe to say that steamboat is really my kinda meal. I'm so looking forward to grandpa preparing it. I know I know. I'm greedy. But I can't help it. I just love food, yummy, tasty, flavourful food.

My baby calls me greedy, but I swear, I'm not. I just have a passion for good food. =D So yeah. I'm looking forward to having fabulous food while I'm back. I promise I'll shed the extra pounds when I'm back in hostel. =P

overdued

Tagged by LiShan. Here goes:

Tag rules:
1. Rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.


Time: 10.34am

Name: Laura

Sisters: 0

Brothers: 0

Shoe size: 7 / 8, depends on shop.

Height: 160 cm (?)

Where do you live: Malaysia

Fav drinks: alcohol, juices, cold drinks

Fav breakfast: Pan mee, bacon and eggs, cereals

Have you ever been on a plane: Yesh

Swam in the ocean: Yea?

Fell asleep in school: Yea...

Broken somebody's heart: I don't think so?

Fell off your chair: Nopes

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Yea... My gf...

Saved emails: Yeap

What is your room like: Me. =P

What is right beside you: Accounting Handbook 2007... Of course, I much prefer it to be my gf

What is the last thing you ate: Cafe food. =.=


EVER HAD...

Chicken pox: Nopes

Sore throat: Yeap

Stitches: Nopes

Broken nose: Nopes

Do you believe in love at 1st sight: I guess

Like picnics: Yeap

Last person you danced with: Myself?

Last made you smiled: My gf

You last yelled at: My gf as well... =(


TODAY YOU DID...

Talked to someone you like: Yeap

Kissed someone: Does virtual kisses count?

Get sick: Hell no!

Talked to an ex: None

Miss someone: Yeap

Best feeling in the world: When she says I love you

Do you sleep with stuffed animals: Yeap, Tweety! =)

What's under your bed: Books and stuff

What time is it now: 12.29 pm


RANDOMS...

Is there a person who is on your mind right now?
Yes, my baby

Do you have any siblings?
No

Do you want children?
Twins if possible

Do you smile often?
Kinda

Do you like your handwriting?
Nopes

Are your toenails painted?
Nopes

Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in?
Hers

What colour shirt are you wearing?
White

What were you doing at 7.00 pm last night?
Sleeping I think

I cant wait till...
I get her in my arms for good.

When did you cry last?
A couple of days ago

Are you a friendly person?
90% of the time

Do you have any pets?
Yeap, my beloved Biscuits

Where is the person you have feelings for right now?
*grumbles* with the baby. She chose him over me! =(

Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you right now?
She's just a friend.

Do you sleep with the tv on?
I'm not an old folk.

What are you doing right now?
Multitasking

Have you ever crawled through a window?
Nopes

Can I handle the truth?
Do cows graze? =.=

Are you closer to your mom or dad?
Mom

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Myself

How many people can you say you really loved?
A few, too few...

Do I eat healthy?
Moderate

Do you still have pictures of you and your ex?
Er, no ex, no pics.

Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?
Yea, I think so.

how often do you go to church?
Never?

If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?
My baby...

Are you loud or quiet most of the time?
Varies

Are you confident?
Kinda?

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
i) Studying
ii) Being a nerd?
iii) Only concern was my Chinese tuition
iv) Loved and spoiled by my parents
v) Loner?

5 snacks I enjoy
i) Rocky
ii) Pringles
iii) Nachos
iv) Tim Tams
v) Kacang Putih

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire
i) Travel around the world
ii) Help the needy
iii) Fulfill all my fantasies
iv) Live a semi retired life with my baby
v) Make the world a better place? (yea rite)

5 of my bad habits
i) Procrastinate
ii) Flirt?
iii) Whine
iv) Facebook and msn all the time
v) Joke around once too often

5 places I have lived in
i) Seremban
ii) Rampai
iii) SS15
iv) Sunway
v) Going to live in USA (Does this count? =P)

5 jobs I've had
i) Lover
ii) Student
iii) Daughter
iv) Poll clerk
v) Vote counter
(LOL!!)

5 lucky people:
i) Yang
ii) Darling
iii) Anne
iv) Ally
v) Mary

Air Square

Different, yet so alike. Some times, I believe, our fates are written in the skies. Perhaps, me and my baby, ours are one of those whom Fate brought together. Even our years of important changes are the same, with the next one coming next year. Well, you could say it's important, because next year will be the 1st time I'm going to meet her in person and spend time with her for real. I'm so tired right now, I can't even blog much. I'm just going to be random here, and tell you guys to check this out. If you type in my bday (3rd Feb) and hers (30th May), you'll find certain items rather similar. Same elements eh? Air + Air. Guess we really make a good couple den. =)

*yawn* That's it. I don't think I can take it any longer. I think I'm off to bed now. Nite peeps!!

Untitled

X: What did you eat for dinner?
Y: Rice. Fried rice.
X: OMG. Rice has been James Bond-ed.

(A conversation about dinner can turn into a lame joke.)

X: See? You both got wet because of me.
Y, Z: ......

(We were talking about water balloons.)

X: So. What did you do today?
Y: Nothing.
X: Nothing at all?
Y: Nothing.
X: Wow. Ok. I'm so hurt right now. You didn't miss me at all. You didn't even think of me. Wow.
Y: What? That was a trick question?! Of course I miss you. I was thinking bout you the whole day.
X: Hahaha. You're slow.
Y: What?! No I'm not. (Turns to the babies) I'm slow apparently. Wow. Can you believe that?

(Talking to my gf)

X: Eh, yang... Be careful la!
Y: Eh, you call her 'yang'... Stands for 'sayang'?? or goat (chinese)??
X, Z: hahahahahaha....

(Walking to school)

MAF

It's Mid Autumn Festival, and I'm all alone. I mean it literally. I'm in hostel, dad's at home, mom's with grandparents, and I'm alone in the room. Suddenly, I'm filled with these waves of loneliness. Jein is back in Melaka, LiHui, I have no idea. Mel is with Esther, Kang is all the way in Australia. Michie is going out soon, and me? Well, I've my wives to accompany me, I guess. =/

Sigh. I suddenly feel so lonely. I... I really want my baby right now. I've never felt this way before when Mel used to leave. I always say I don't care that she's not in the room, but always at Esther's. And I really don't. I have no idea why I feel differently today. I feel like, everybody left me alone. I feel so invisible. My baby's asleep, and I really don't want to disturb her. I just wish... I could crawl into bed with her, and have her hold me close. Her presence somehow makes these feelings disperse. How can you blame me for being into her, when she's the only one that really makes the loneliness goes away?

I'm emo, all of a sudden. I suppose, today being Mid Autumn Festival, time to be with friends and family and loved ones, and I'm all alone. I miss my baby. I just want to feel her arms around me, telling me that she's always there for me and that she'll not leave me no matter what. I suddenly feel so alone, like it's me against the whole world. Sigh... I wish my baby was here... I just want to snuggle against her and feel loved. I hate this empty feeling. It's like a sinking rock in my heart. Perhaps this is called, homesick?

I want my panda right now, this very instant. God knows how much I need her right now. When I'm talking to her, somehow, she lifts up my mood. Sometimes, even way back then, I still feel lonely when I'm with friends. But I've never felt that way with my baby. So don't blame me for being so into her. Like I said, she's the only one that ever made me want to cast off my barriers. I feel at home with her, like I can tell her anything under the sun.

The fireworks aren't doing my mood any good, because they serve to remind me of just how empty I feel. I need my baby more then ever right now. My friends...... Aren't here with me anyway. All alone during Mid Autumn Festival. I hate it...

cute

Apparently, I am not monogamous. I have, to date, 4 wives. Yeah, just like a Muslim guy. I mean, no offense or anything, I was just commenting on the number. =x So yea, from the 1st to the last: My baby in USA, my handphone (it's the main way we communicate), my laptop (how else can I send her emails?) and my desktop (wide screen, perfect for movies. Enough said.).

Hahaha. So apparently I cant keep my hands off my other wives, which is making my baby jealous. LOL! She says when she comes over, she's going to have a good long talk with my laptop, and I'm not allowed in the room when she does it. LOL! She's goofy.

Talking about goofy. My baby is goofy, but sweet. She would insist on waiting up for me every day. And if she's tired, she'll never admit it. She'll put the blame on everything else, ranging from the baby to the radio. There's even a new addition this time: the air con.

She kept insisting that she's not tired, yet, when I asked her to close her eyes, she fell asleep immediately to the sound of my voice putting her to bed. She's a pig, MY pig. She's so cute that even when she was about to sleep, she told me: Just so you know, it really was the air con. It wasn't me. (She was yawning)

I love her little ways, because they're so cute. Thinking back on her little behaviour and habits, makes me want to smile and shake my head at the same time. She's adorable to a fault. There should be a law against people as irresistable as her. =P I love that panda of mine. Sue me for being so into her, but soon, you'll understand why. =X



(P/s: Perhaps I should start calling her goofball? lol)

Jumbo

Let me tell you a story about my lil brat. He's around 7 - 8 months old, and he's a smart lil devil. The brat apparently climbed up to the table, and stole the whole boxful of baby cookies. Those cookies are like, super duper HUGE cookies. Those jumbo sized ones. Well, he climbed down with them, went under the cover, and started munching. By the time he was found out, the whole boxful of cookies were gone. LOL! Imagine that, my lil brat doing all that. That was one of the better jokes I've heard.

Of course, for the adults in the house, that wasn't funny at all. They had to deal with him being hyper. Imagine him sucker punching another baby around his age, and laughing and shouting the whole day. And he was up playing with trains at 1 am. LOL!

I proudly present the greedy pig, Jamar James Houser to you peeps. He's my lil brat when it comes to mischief and naughty stuff. Of course, I was cheering him on when he sucker punched the other one, which in turn got me a scolding from my baby. But it was all in the name of fun? =P And besides, my baby cant stay mad at me for long. It's a mutual thing. My voice calms her down, and vice versa. I wonder, if what she said could be for real. =X

And then there's the matter of a personal bet with my baby. She might not remember it in a few years time but I definitely will. We'll see who wins baby, that's a promise. I'm going to get what I want. =P You're going down baby! Muahahahaha...

Oh talking about my princess. She's a one of a kind idiot smartass. I love her so much. When things are going well for us, without any trouble or anything, talking to her through the phone is the sweetest time of the day. I don't mean that I don't like spending time with my friends, but this is different. I love talking to my baby on the phone despite the phone charges. You might say it's total bullshit, but if I don't hear her voice b4 sleeping, I just somehow can't sleep at all. I love my baby, that it hurts to be so far apart. But the end is going to be worth the wait.

Fixed - Coldplay

So I hear I was being tagged by Anne. It's been some time since i was tagged, wasn't it? Well, it wont hurt to do something to while the day away, would it? *thinks* NEH! So, yea, tag below:

1) What is the most important thing in your life?
Well, regardless of what my friends truly think, she is the most important thing in my life right now. It's not that my friends aren't important, she just ranks a lil higher than them.

2) What was the last thing you bought with your own money?
Dinner?

3) Where do you want to get married?
Urm... Canada?

4) How old do you think you will be permanently owned by your love?
Urm... Like, right now? =x

5) Are you in love?
A better question would be does it rain in Spain? =.= Yes, duh, I'm in love. =P

6) Where was the last restaurant you had dinner?
Wow. It's been ages, I think. Urm, I would say, the banana leaf restaurant Wai Mun brought us to.

7) Name the latest book that you bought
Urm, it's 'The Last Kings' by David Gremlin ( or something like that. I don't even remember the title or the author. it's been too long. =/ )

8) What is your full name?
Laura Yoong Li Wen... Quite a mouthful, won't you agree?

9) Do you prefer your mother, or your father?
I don't prefer either one of them, cz i love them both equally.

10) Name a person you really wish to meet in your life for the first time.
Other than my gf, I would like to meet Katherine Moennig in person. =x

11) Christina or Britney?
Neither? I much prefer to meet someone else, preferably, Rihanna or Leona.

12) Do I do my own laundry?
Hmmm... Half-half. Other than my innerwear, the rest goes to the dobi.

13) The most exciting place you want to go
Wherever my baby wants to bring me go.

14) hugs or kisses?
both. I love feeling loved. =P

15) 8 things I am passionate about
i) her
ii) friends
iii) pranks
iv) songs
v) getting to know people
vi) food
vii) mind stimulating games
viii) a worthwhile conversation

16) 8 things I say too often
i) i love you
ii) i miss you
iii) babe
iv) damn ass la you
v) f***
vi) dammit
vii) panda
viii) hey baby

17) 8 books I've read recently
i) Concise Principles of Malaysian Company Law
ii) Commercial Banking
iii) Lord of the Silver Bow
iv) Her Sister's Keeper
v) Management Accounting
vi) - to be filled in at a later date -
vii) - to be filled in at a later date -
viii) - to be filled in at a later date -

18) 8 songs that I could listen to over and over again
i) Say It Again - Marie Digby
ii) Maybe - Jay Sean
iii) Damaged - Danity Kane
iv) Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis
v) No Air - Chris Brown ft Jordin Sparks
vi) Fall For You - Secondhand Serenade
vi) Stranger - Secondhand Serenade
vii) Wherever You Will Go - The Calling
viii) Promise - Ciara

19) 8 things I learnt last year
i) Friends will always tell you the truth, even though it hurts
ii) Falling in love is not something impossible
iii) Making new friends isn't all that hard
iv) Flirting is fun
v) Getting to know someone is my forte
vi) Patience is a virtue
vii) Pranking others is way too much fun to totally give up on
viii) The future is very uncertain. Anything could happen. Nothing is impossible.

20) Tag 8 people
i) LiShan
ii) Whaley
iii) Jeinie
iv) LeeEan
v) Ally
vi) Jie
vii) Joanne
viii) KeJun

(And anyone out there that lovesss tags. =P)

Damaged - Danity Kane

Dear Panda,

You don't want to talk to me? I just... Have you ever thought of how this is making me feel? I need you to tell me how you feel about this. You can't go all quiet on me just like that. You even think that I... Sigh... Never mind.

I think you don't really believe me when I say that I trust you no matter what. This falls in the 'no matter what' category. Surely you know my stand... I told you before, no matter how ugly the world out there gets, you can always turn to me. Baby, I want to turn to you, even though this is my friends we are talking about. Come on baby. I know you're upset over the whole situation, but, won't you reassure me of your feelings? I need to hear you say I love you.

Twice I called. You didn't even respond to me. I don't think you even want to talk about it. Baby... Please... You're upset and idk how to make it up to you... Sigh...

opinions

I didn't mean to worry you peeps. Perhaps, I shouldn't have made you guys so worried, by constantly telling you what happened. I'm sorry. I know, you guys really care for me. And I'm thankful I've got a great bunch of friends like you. Really, this comes from the bottom of my heart.

The time I spend with my gf is the sweetest ever. Almost as if I'm dreaming. If this is a dream, I'm hoping it would last. I'm reluctant to wake up, because I don't think anything could be sweeter then this.

However, I'm going to make more time for my friends. My baby is important, but my friends are important too. So I'm going to spend more time with them, and talk about other things besides my gf. Much as I would love to share her with everybody, I know, that has to change.

Tasha

To: My dearest Panda

I wonder. Did I made a mess out of everything? Is it so very wrong for me to approach your ex gf and bestie for information? I only had you in my mind when I asked them about what happened. You won't even tell me anything. Is it really that wrong for me to do what I did?

You're mad at me, and now I can't sleep. You won't even tell me a single thing. You may not want to make me worried, but how can I not worry when you have this tendency to land into trouble? Since the day we got together, my life has become a TVB drama. I don't regret a single inch of it, but I do wish we could have a talk about this. You don't just hit me with one sentence, 'Why don't you continue being friends with them? Since you guys are becoming so close, and leave me out of it.'

How am I supposed to inteprete it? You sound mad, and pissed off. How am I supposed to sleep well tonight? You really tear my heart apart, rip it into pieces. I wonder. I know you're hurting over there, and I'm sick over here. I really want to know if you're feeling any better. But somehow, idk anymore.

What are you trying to say? What are you trying to do? What are you looking for?

Smexy

Damn.



I'm never sleeping after dinner. Too much weird dreams.



I'm beginning to hate myself.



I'm starting to hate food.



I'm hating water.



I hate being sick.



My throat is the equivalent of sandpaper.



Nothing I do works.



I wish my baby was here to make me feel better.

Angel

So I'm in uni at this god forbidden hour. 9 am is way too early to be stuck here in the bloody library. But a girls' got to do what a girls' got to do: assignment. If I plan on going back early, I'll have to try to finish this confronted commercial banking assignment. But enough about that. Like I was saying, I was in the library, and my mind is like, on the other side of the globe.

I really really miss my baby. I just can't stop thinking of her. She fills my thoughts all the time. Every moment I'm not joking around with those monkeys or attempting to study or chatting, I'm always thinking about her. Call me a pervert, but I can't stop thinking and wondering how would it be like to spend all the time in her company when she comes over. I want to know what it would be like to share a bed with her, and to wake up and see her face each and every morning. I know, I should just wait till the day she's actually here, but I can't really help it.

Perhaps I'm taking it for certain that she's really coming over. And I really want that to happen. I mean, her coming over is seriously going to make my birthday the best ever. Not that it's not going to be good, but with her here, it's going to be way better. And her present to me is just a bonus. I can't really wait till the day she's actually in my arms, and I'm holding her close for real. I can ask for hugs and kisses anytime of the day and she would willingly give them to me. I can just hold her for no reason, and just murmur i love you just because I can.

I really really want her here, by my side right now.

=) I still remember how I tease her about youtube. She threatened to punish me if I ever did put her lovely voice on youtube. =) And she wouldn't tell me what that punishment would be. =/ and she plays dirty. She summed up our 1st night together to be 'special' when I asked her what she thinks will happen. =X She's terrible and mean and evil. And I totally love her for all that and more. She's playful enough to keep me intrigued, and wonderful enough to keep me hooked. She has a great personality and I totally love her for that.

Combo

Check THIS out. This is what happens when you're the younger one amongst a household full of pranksters like us. Us namely me and Jein. Oh, don't get me wrong. Mei Pow and Mel join in the games as well, it's just that the both of us are more, well, active. And Esther, well, she's the youngest and her turn will come soon, that is a promise. LOL!

Anyway. That video, was taken after Mich was pelted with rotten eggs, doused with ice cold water, and smashed with whipped cream. She tried to step into our room, but she was.... deterred. Bear in mind that she really really stinks, and the fact that Mel can't really speak Chinese or dialects. Hahahaha... Oh right! Before I forget, it was Mich's very very belated bday celebs, since we couldn't get together sooner then this. :X

It was a pretty cool ending to a pretty fun day out. We went to Sunway Lagoon earlier that day. Despite a lil hiccup, I really had fun. Despite the fact that I was freezing in the pool during the rain, it was really really enjoyable. I can understand why people like to just lie back and enjoy the waves. I'm thinking if it was this enjoyable with friends, it would surely be better if i brought her go as well right? =)

But yea, a terrific day out, a fabulous dinner, and an exciting ending to a long day out. What else could a girl ask for? Oh wait, there is, but, let's just let it slide. I was dead tired that day, and I slept at... 5 am. All because I was chatting with Michelle from Singapore. The more I get to know her, the more intrigued I am about her. She's interesting and I don't mind getting to know her a lil better. There's just something about her that screams 'Mystery' and 'Intrigue'.

Perhaps, one day, I'll post a lil bit more about this new friend of mine. Till then, ciao! Toodles! I'm off for my daily dose of chocolates. =)

Oh right. Check this out too.

P/s: Esther injured my finger. A 'nice' cut. Don't ask me how she did that, but she did it. =(

foff

Ok. Remember a couple of posts ago, the letter to mysterious Ms. J? Well, turns out I was mistaken. Ms. J's name is Crystal.

So this ass of a person called Crystal, is freaking psychotic, delusional lunatic. She can go jump into the erupting volcano for all I care. She can try all she can, but I know, she won't succeed, because my baby and I have utter faith and trust in each other.

So yea, this is to you:

You can say all that, but at the end of the day, she's going to fall into my embrace, she's going to spend the rest of her life with me, and she sure as hell won't want you as a friend anymore. Nothing you do will drive us apart, because nothing can come between us.

吵架

还记得，昨天跟敏敏说，我们才吵过一次架。


都变了。也不知道，到底是如何发生的。


我只须要你每天陪我谈五分钟。。。 没人打插的五分钟。。。 好难吗？？


总觉得，you've got more time for others.


Do I not warrant any of your time as well?? Do I not deserve a couple of words with you without being interrupted or being put on hold?? I hardly do that to you. I put aside everything to talk to you. At least, give me some private moments to share with you. Your voice can do wonders for me. Just hearing it can uplift my mood. 塔莎，你回来吧。。。 不要跑到我跟不到的地方去，好不好？？

bimbo

I. Feel. Gay.



Why?



Sayang painted 3 of my left fingers PINK.



Light pink with glitter.



So. Gay.



Gosh.



I'm not only gay,



I even LOOK gay now.



**Faints**

Darkrai

I can barely breath
I miss you so

I try my best
But you're nowhere to be found

I look around
But all I see is darkness

I grope around
But I cant feel anything

I lose all sense of time
All sense of direction

I hugged my knees
Sank down to the floor

I was all alone
I feel lonely

I want to see
Your face

I want to feel
Your touch

I want to hear
You call my name

I want to taste
Friendship, joy and love

But it's all dark
With nothing save black

Letter

I hate people who call themselves friends and turn around and cast you down. The letter below ain't meant for any of my friends, so please, don't perasan case and think that I'm talking about you. This letter, is meant for my baby's friend, so called friend that is.

Dear J,

Seriously, I consider myself to be a rather open minded person. I can accept criticism and opinions from my friends. I don't bite at them for telling me to be cautious, for telling me not to put too much hope in it. I accept their views, and I respect them for telling me. But I know, at the end of the day, as long as I have her, it's going to be alright.

I really don't mind you sharing your views and your experience with her. In fact, I'll even sit down and listen to your stories. But, I don't like the way you're forcing it on her. By always telling her that this relationship between us will never ever work out, you're planting fear in my baby. You're making her depressed. As a friend, you should just be there for her. You can warn her and all that, but at the end of the day, don't keep telling her that it will never possibly work out.

I hate it that you keep trying to poison my baby's mind. You made her feel so upset she couldn't stop crying. As a lover, I can't bear to see the tears rolling down her cheek, 'cause to me, they are precious. Perhaps, as a friend, you don't give two hoots as to whether she cried the whole night. But I care. I hate it that YOU made her cry.

J,

You call yourself a friend. Why can't you see the pain you're causing her? The pain of me not being by her side is bad enough, she doesn't need the pain of fear that I would abandon her. That fear should be groundless, as I have no intention of casting her aside. I might not be perfect, but I'll not break her heart. She shouldn't even think about it. So why? Why must you instill in her the pain of that fear?

Can't you see that she is emotionally fragile? She's like a precious gem, the rarest of the lot. All she should get is love and attention and care. She doesn't need more worries or insecurities. Our relationship should be the one sustaining her, keeping her strong, not breaking her down. You're not helping things by telling her all those negative things.

Even I have friends, whose long distance relationships don't last. I have seen friends on both side of the fence, the ones who got dumped, and the ones who dump. They have seen the ups and downs of being in a long distance relationship. Sure, I do discuss my relationship with them. They did advice me, but never put me down. They make sure I know the pros and cons, and be by my side when I need them.

What I need is support, or the very least, no criticisms. That's what she needs too. She needs you to be there to care, to help guide her to avoid certain pitfalls. She doesn't need you to add to her troubles and worries. You made my precious so depressed, it hurts to hear her cry over the phone, and not be able to hold her close and show her how groundless her fears are.

J,

I swear to god, I'm going to make this work between me and my baby. I'll not let anything come between us, not even family, not even you. I'm going to prove you wrong, and show you that this relationship between me and my love is going to work. You won't be able to strike us down, because I know, there is something magical between the both of us, and there ain't nothing you can do or say to destroy or ruin it.

Fren'z fav

Lyrics | Sydney Forest - Once in a Blue Moon lyrics

3... 2.... 1

Countdowns. It's cool when it's only seconds, minutes, hours even. But to countdown days and months, it just isn't right. I mean, the wait is just so torturous.

She told me, to countdown is going to make it seem even longer. At that time, I didn't agree, but now, I totally agree with her. The figures still seem so huge even after what seemed like eternity. But somehow, part of me still wants to countdown the days.

I can't wait for her to come down. I want so much for her to be here. I can't wait to spend every day in her company. It's going to be my 1st time spending that much time with someone, but I can't wait. I've been looking forward to this since forever. Really really wish I could catch a glimpse of what it would be like 168 days down the road.

*Imagining*

But yea, I'm going to celebrate the so-called most important birthday with the most precious person in my life. What else could a girl ask for? (That doesn't mean no presents alright) I'm so going to celebrate with my parents, grandparents, seremban pals (if possible), and my kl pals. And she's going to be there by my side all the time.

I look forward to meals with her, tv together, cinema together, games together, and outings together. I just wanna hold her close whenever we're alone, and have her sit on my lap so i can hug her from behind while we're watching movies on the computer.

All in all, I want her to be here. I can't wait. This is even worse then Christmas. At least, Xmas comes earlier, and I don't know what presents I'll get, if any. But this! I already KNOW what I'm going to get. Grrr! I hate waiting!

puppet

Comprehension. Is it a lot to ask for, to comprehend what I'm saying 1st, before jumping down my throat and to conclusions?

I wish you would listen to me, hear me out before jumping to conclusions and start defending yourself. Never did I ever pointed the finger at you. You asked after me, and I tell you, and you start defending yourself. I never even put the blame at your doorstep. Your first priority is to defend yourself, and clear yourself of all the blame. Somehow, it always ends up being other peoples' fault. Somehow, you're always blame free. Every human being, even if you are a deity reincarnated, is never free of flaws and fault. How then, can you always be free of fault?

You don't even want to listen to my explanation. It's a waste of time and money and breath talking to you, trying to reason out things with you. I am only human. Even I have my weaknesses. I am no humanoid, not a robot, not a machine. I have my own thoughts and feelings. My emotions DO spike up and down.

I don't want to be caught between you both. It feels like I'm the mouse deer caught in between two warring elephants. It sucks because the both of you are equally important to me. It sucks even more because you both are making use of me, not physically, but emotionally and mentally. It sucks all the more because I can't explain to my baby how upset I feel, and end up taking it out on her. It sucks to the max because everything is so complicated.

Simplicity is something I've come to treasure and value. Everything should be simple and not in too many shades of overlapping gray. Many a things, my baby make it seem so simple. This only makes me love her all the more.

People tell me, knowledge is power. I say, not all knowledge is power. Many a times, knowledge brings pain and suffering. I've experienced that many times before. The more you know about something, the more likely you'll do something to prevent it if it's something less than pleasant. The more you try to prevent something, more often than not, you bring it upon yourself. I believe, what will happen, will happen. Why torture and torment yourself with the knowledge that it will happen? I rather live in ignorance.

I truly dislike this feeling. I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I hate being made a toy, a real life, flesh and blood, toy. It's repulsive. I've decided I don't like politics after all.

poltergeist

So. Today is Li Hui, or better known among us as Camel's birthday. AND! We did it all in style. Trust me, when it comes to pranks, and us, it's bound to be messy and fun. :D

To make it special, we started celebrations at midnight, or rather, close to midnight. Jein was at my place since after dinner, to do the card, and stuff, and study a lil. And a big thank you to Esther, or else we would have all forgotten about the cake. *blushes*

So basically, the scenerio was like this: The card was done, the can of whipped cream in the fridge, the balloons were waiting to be filled, and both Esther and Jein were studying. Me and Mel were in the room, on the computer, when all of a sudden, Jein shouted: " LAURA!! WHY DIDN'T YOU REMIND ME ABOUT THE CAKE??!" I was shocked, I couldn't really get in a coherent thought. Then, we just piled into Jein's BF's car, drove by Jein, of course, and went to Cake Sense at SS15, SJ. Got this pandan cake, which is like, alternate layers of pandan sponge cake and pandan jelly. NICE!

Okok. So now the story really begins. Around 11. 30 or so, Jein and I made our way to Jein's place. Then I made a phone call to my GF. Talked to her for a short while, and told her I'll call her back after the surprise celebrations. Then Camel was asking me questions about my gf, and so the time passed. After getting the green light from Esther, we lured her over to Esther's place. She was on the phone for a while with her friend, when Jein kinda persuaded her to talk later.

When she was walking down the last stairway, ahead of me and Jein, she kinda turned around to talk to us. THAT, was the perfect opportunity for Esther and Mel. It was as if, LiHui knew they were there and presented them the perfect position to toss water balloons on her.

So so so. Can you imagine this? Me and Jein on the stairway, and LiHui, at the foot of the stairway, just turns around and talk to us, when all of a sudden, from behind the bushes, out comes Esther and Mel, each armed with a water balloon. Plop! Plop! Plop! Plak! And just like that, she got pelted with 4 balloons b4 she could even react. The best part was when Mel wanted to hit her with the 4th balloon.

*Mel holds the water balloon and laughs at LiHui, wanting to throw it at her.*
LiHui: (bends down as if in a bow) Here here.
(She was telling Mel to burst that balloon on her head)

That crazy woman was soaking wet from head to toe. :D :D Then they came over to our place. She thought it was over. *evil grin* She was talking to Esther, when yours truly (mischief pranker) comes out with a huge dollop of whipped cream and just smashes it into her face. *Muahahahahaha* She was SHOCKED! She even let me smear it all over her face, neck, and hands.

We took group pictures, and I smashed another mini cream pie on her face as well. *smirks* I just realized I really like doing all this. Feel like I kinda missed out on my childhood, not having ppl like this to play with. So bear with me for a few more years, I've got lots to catch up with. *winks*

It was really fun, and it was a success pranking and surprising her that night. I really enjoyed myself and with hopes, everybody did. Now, on to the next project! ;)

*Pictures next time alright? It takes forever to upload anything here.*

雨过晴天

Euphoria is defined as a state of very intense happiness and feelings of well-being. (Wikipedia, 2008)

So I have a pretty readable face. Apparently all my emotions are written on my face. Let me be the 1st to assure you it's not always that case. That only happens about 5 percent of the time.

But alright. I admit, I was in a state of euphoria when I got those emails from my beloved. I was down, upset, devastated, and emo for the past 1 week or so. But you can't exactly blame me, can you? Try not talking to the love of your life for a week, and not knowing if he/she is alright, den tell me if you're not emo, upset, down, and devastated. (Normally, I won't use 'devastated' but that was Jein's idea, so yeah)

Almost everyone of my friends advised me against this. Don't get me wrong, they're wonderful friends. Really concerned about me. Appreciate it, ppl. However, my heart told me otherwise. It told me to wait, even though the mind formed doubts. A lil naive, but it was worth it. My baby finally contacted me after so long. I feel a lil guilty for even doubting her.

When I saw those emails in the inbox, it was as if the sun miraculously appeared from nowhere, and the clouds just disperse. As if my day had brighten up. I never really known happiness till I met her. She's truly something, a vital part of my life. If I had it my way, we would never have to part.

One of these days, I shall have a full fledged post about my baby, complete with a picture. Till then, let me continue talking about my baby and how much I love that panda of mine? ;)

Cheerios ppl~!!

080808

So yeah. Before I start off with anything, lemme wish Gan Li HAPPY BIRTHDAY 1st of all. ;) Hope you enjoyed yourself today. Pity you're way over there in Aussie, else I could have pranked you or something in uni. :P

AND! The opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics 2008-08-08 was AWESOME!!! GOSH! I'm so fucking proud to be a Chinese. It was spectacular!! I really liked it very much. The performances, and most importantly, the fireworks. ;)

I mean, come on! The best part of the show HAS got to be the fireworks. Like hey! They really have a very very amazing show of fireworks. i mean like, hey! It sure took my breath away.

AND! One of the performances that I really enjoyed was the part where the Confucius scholars were reciting his work and there was this huge platform of raised characters on blocks. Wow. That was really, WOW.

rain

remember i said that i wish it would rain so that i could run out into the rain and just let it wash away my pain and sorrow? ok. perhaps not those exact words. but still. you get the picture.

anyhow. it rained yesterday afternoon. the heavy kind with a lil fog. i purposely walked in the pouring rain. i felt the cold wind making its presence. perhaps it's too much, because i started crying again.

call me weak, call me foolish. i really can't take not hearing from her. i'm sorry if i'm devastated, emo, moody, upset, sad and what not. i just miss her so much it really hurts. but i've decided, no matter what, i'll continue loving her. forever. but i won't go around moping. i'll treasure this love within me.

but missing her always ain't really the main reason for the tears yesterday. the rain made me remember her promise to take a scroll in the rain together with me. i would love to do exactly that, and a lil more if you get my meaning. you noe, i just think that kissing under the rain is just so sexy and is such a turn on. not that i ever kissed under the rain before, i just feel that it is. forgive me yang, but many things can be a turn on for me.

the main reason for the tears is, she proposed to me on a rainy day. i noe, many of you feel that it's too soon to talk about marriage. i mean, it's just been 2 months, and she has already proposed. some think it's too soon, some think it's a joke, some just have no comment. monkie asked me how do i noe that she's the one for me. well. i might not have much experience, but, i suppose, you just do. for me, to date, she's the only one i can imagine growing old with, and spending the rest of my life with. she's the one i can picture loving after years of being together.

not being able to talk to my future wife is just such torture. but because i love her, i'll live life with a smile on my face. i deserve to, and i know she would want me to. it sure sounds as if i'm living my life for her. but it's not. to me it's not.