Mad?

In many little ways, I take after my dad. My girl and I share some common traits as well. I'm talking about grudges. Apparently, I can really hold grudges. I seem to remember clearly how people have wronged me.

But why all the talk about grudges, you may ask. Well, it's all because of today. Taryn asked me, numerous times, to have dinner with them at Yuen's Steamboat, as a birthday celebration for Shi Ni. Well, needless to say, I didn't go. But something Taryn said, and the way she said it, lingered.

"Just let it go and come to dinner with us."

Everybody figures I'm still mad. The logic is, I keep asking everybody whether I seem mad at her. This seems to prove that I'm still mad. Truth be told, I have no animosity towards her. In fact, I have no feelings whatsoever. I keep asking, is because I don't think that the way I act indicates that I'm mad at her. Everybody thinks, almost everybody thinks that I'm mad at her.

Perhaps I'm being over sensitive, but I can feel that my friends are disappointed in my actions today. Perhaps. But, I have no regrets over what I did, or did not do. With that all said and done, I just don't need someone like her in my life. As an acquaintance, I have no problem with that. I would share her gift when asked, but, I'll not go through great lengths to make a big deal out of her birthday.

To digress a bit, nobody has ever really made a big fuss out of my birthday. That's why, I would always remember how Jein and the others celebrated mine for me this year. They made me feel special. It's going to be even more special when Tashie comes over. Nobody has ever made such a big deal out of my birthday. I mean, she's coming all the way from USA just for my birthday. It's gestures like this, that really make me feel loved and wanted.

But ok. This post is not really about me. let's not steal the limelight from Shi Ni. I have nothing else to say anymore. I'm tired of repeating myself. I sound like a broken down recorder. So for the record, I am not mad. I just don't need someone like her in my life. Enough is enough. It takes a lot to happen for me to actually NOT want the friendship. Enough said.