rain

remember i said that i wish it would rain so that i could run out into the rain and just let it wash away my pain and sorrow? ok. perhaps not those exact words. but still. you get the picture.

anyhow. it rained yesterday afternoon. the heavy kind with a lil fog. i purposely walked in the pouring rain. i felt the cold wind making its presence. perhaps it's too much, because i started crying again.

call me weak, call me foolish. i really can't take not hearing from her. i'm sorry if i'm devastated, emo, moody, upset, sad and what not. i just miss her so much it really hurts. but i've decided, no matter what, i'll continue loving her. forever. but i won't go around moping. i'll treasure this love within me.

but missing her always ain't really the main reason for the tears yesterday. the rain made me remember her promise to take a scroll in the rain together with me. i would love to do exactly that, and a lil more if you get my meaning. you noe, i just think that kissing under the rain is just so sexy and is such a turn on. not that i ever kissed under the rain before, i just feel that it is. forgive me yang, but many things can be a turn on for me.

the main reason for the tears is, she proposed to me on a rainy day. i noe, many of you feel that it's too soon to talk about marriage. i mean, it's just been 2 months, and she has already proposed. some think it's too soon, some think it's a joke, some just have no comment. monkie asked me how do i noe that she's the one for me. well. i might not have much experience, but, i suppose, you just do. for me, to date, she's the only one i can imagine growing old with, and spending the rest of my life with. she's the one i can picture loving after years of being together.

not being able to talk to my future wife is just such torture. but because i love her, i'll live life with a smile on my face. i deserve to, and i know she would want me to. it sure sounds as if i'm living my life for her. but it's not. to me it's not.