hmm

blow hot,
blow cold.
is that what i am doing?
paying you too much attention,
and then none at all?

if that is truly how i'm behaving,
i apologize.
i wasn't aware of that.

对不起

华语，到底不是我的专长。但，还是用华语较适合。
说到底，还是想说声，对不起。我并非想要如此的结果。我不晓得，你是何时发现道的。或许，你早都察觉出来了。也许，你当初的一举一动，是因为知道了，我对你的感觉。也许，是因为这样，我们当中，出现了问题。
我承认，我当初，是真的真的很喜欢你。不知为什么，差不多每天在想你。是深深的被你吸引住了吧！当初，真的有想过，我和你是有机会的。还想天天和你联络，想要知道，你的每一天，过的怎样。你所面对的一切，是什么，是如何辛苦，如何难。每当和你通电话，会特别开心，特别快乐。虽然，每一次见到你，好像没什么话说，但很兴奋能见到你。不说话，是不知说些什么好。你知道吗？当初的我，真的觉得，爱上一个人，是如此简单的。爱一个人，是愿意付出一切。我那时候，是愿意的。
从当初，至今，相差了多少时间。
升到大学后，以为自己可以很理智的把你忘掉。不是忘掉，而是，把你放弃掉。还真的以为这是可能的，直到看到你所写的诗。。让我顿时忘了，要把你放弃的思念。你令我觉得，自己是有机会的。犹豫了好一段日子，还以为，和你在一起，是有可能性的一件事。还不知，到底自己是因该如何做对。
想了又想，还是算了吧！就把你放弃吧！从前的事，无论我多么想改变，是万万没可能性的一件事。无论多想把时间留住，多想把闹钟转回，发生过的所有已无法转变，无法改善。所说的一切，也许会伤到你，但，是我心中话。我彻底地祝福你，祝你永远快乐，过着平静，优美的日子。我知道，你可能会恨我。我不求多，只希望，你有一天，会原谅我。
萍，对不起！一万个对不起！

ew

Was looking through my pictures yesterday, and came upon this 2 pictures. The one above is fried crickets and the one below is dried frogs. Gross, eh? But I suppose people DO eat such stuff, as it was on sale at the Thai supermarket in Singapore. Yup! I took those illegal pictures when I went for a visit last year. Thought it would make an interesting post.
Haven't really been snapping any pictures at the moment, as I'm rather bogged down with assignments and stuff. And basically just don't feel like taking any pictures. I'm supposed to do my management assignment, but then again, the online library is being cranky. It just refuses to load. I wonder. Can I get my assignment done in time? Hmm.. Or should I just hang myself?

blerh

Phew! Finally. I've handed in my assignments. Now all that is left is my 2 AsTutes, accounting and management. OMG! Management. The plague of my life. I can die from management. Seriously? I did consider studying management as a major. But now, after going through hell, and it's not even by far over yet, and I can't take it anymore. I mean, it sounds interesting and stuff at the beginning, but I tell you, to me, it's damn boring. I mean, it's all about theories and stuff, and memorizing... OMG! It's somewhat like history, whereby you remember. I hate to memorize. My brain never listens to me when I ask it to memorize. Instead, it tends to recall stupid useless stuff, such as conversations. What the hell! Stupid brain of mine. I'm supposed to be blogging, but I kind of got sidetracked. Not really in the mood these past few nights to blog. So. Perhaps another time?

Jazz

Sigh sigh sigh! So sad! I kinda regret canceling my ATM card. If I didn't, then I can take up Audrey's offer next week. LOL! So sad. Haha. But. There are other times also right? Haha.
Today was a, urm, how shall I put it, eventful day. After classes, Mel and I went back, as mom needed a confirmation letter of sorts stating that I was a student there. After that, we had lunch. I tell you. I'm stuffed. And I shall not have any dinner tonight. (Psss! I still have fries...) Hehe.. Then we waited for the blardy bus. 1st, we waited on this side. Then, we were told to go the other side. The fella in da bus told us, when we wanted to board to bus, that we were on the WRONG side. And that we were to go back to the same side we came from just now. What nonsense! This is going to reflect way bad on our tourism industry. Won't you agree?
Coming back, I went to the library to look for Taryn, and chit-chatted with her till she went home. Even walked her out to wait for her bus. See? I'm such a good friend, right? Then, I went back to get my bags, and maybe do some work. But..... The computer lab was occupied! There was a class going on in it! OMG! Luckily, I didn't panic. Instead, set out to look for Mel and Cass. I went back to the library, just in case they went there to look for me. But they weren't there, so I msged Mel, and found out their location. And when I went to lab 2 to look for Mel, Audrey called me. She wanted to meet up with me. I told her I'm at the computer labs, and she said, nvm. But I told her, nvm, I'll go cafeteria to look for her instead. She asked why I don't want to do, then I said, I can do later. Haha. So. We chatted for a short while, and then headed for the foyar. She met some of her friends there, and introduced them to me. We kinda hanged out there for sometime, then she wanted to go back already. So I walked her to her car. Had a nice time chatting with her. OMG! She has most of the qualities I'm looking for. Smart, plays pool, likeable, easy to get along, fun to be with... and many more I can't/haven't pinpoint yet. Sigh! She better not be reading my blog now. Later she'll freak out. Suan le ba!
I think I've gotten over all the missing-subang snydrome. Well. Most of it. I guess, I'm adapting? I guess, making new friends isn't as easy as in Taylor's, but at least the friends I've made, are quite ok, quite ok indeed. Ah well!
Oh ya! a pic for you to enjoy.This is my committee cum friend. More of a friend now la. Last time... OMG! She damn garang one ar! Serious! Go ask any of the prefects... LOL! KeeKuen... suan le ba! Admit it! You WERE fierce then. LOL!
Ok la! Till here then.

AsTute

Today. I woke up in time for brunch. Thought of meeting Audrey today, but lazy to go out so early. So. suan le ba (let it be)! Instead, went to Medan with Mel and our resident Monkies. I'll introduce the 2nd one soon. They were teasing me, cause I was the one complaining about being hungry, but was the last to finish my meal. So paiseh! Sorry la! Went to computer labs today, and waited for Taryn to help me with my assignment. While doing so, I was chatting, and kinda did something shocking.
I don't really know how to write it with a third person's view, making things general and stuff. So i guess, I keep it to myself, and share it with certain few people. LOL! no choice. Too sensitive to blog about. And besides, kinda lost the mood and momentum to blog. Next time la!
Guess the assignments really took its toll on poor Laura. Sigh!
Signing off..

Potpourri

Pig pig pig! That's the only word to describe me today. Why? Because I have been sleeping practically the whole morning. Woke at 9. 30 and went back to bed at 11. Sigh. Was supposed to do some assignments, but, I just don't get it. I'll just have to ask Mel for help later tonight. Currently at the computer labs (again!) to blog and whatnot. Today was kind of uneventful, except for my Business Statistic lecturer canceling our class.
Kinda enjoy talking to Audrey. She makes me laugh. It's fun talking to someone who kinds of understands you. In a way, I miss her. Her attitude and stuff, seems rather familiar. Sometimes, she reminds me of Siew Peng, and how close we used to be. I miss that feeling.
I was reading through your blog, and your sole post there, kinda evoke many feelings and thoughts. Kinda sad. I wonder. If I didn't do what I did the other day, would it all been different? Perhaps. I don't really know. In a sense, I'm kinda wishing it would be different. But I don't see any way of changing things now. I really should move on. Hopefully, you'll find it in your heart somewhere, to forgive me for whatever wrong I did unto you. It was an act of desperation. I didn't know what else I could have done. Granted, it was wrong. But I don't know what else to do. No amount of words can express the sorrow I felt, or how sorry I am. Just pray that in time, you'll think of me as someone who was a friend.
On to more cheerful things. Despite the fact that you're not reading my blog, I just want you to know, CONGRATS! Congrats to Hui Yen for her amazing STPM results, and congrats to all my juniors for their results. Not that I know each and everyone's results. Still. I'm sure most of you did well.

pics

This is Sze Jein. Officially re-named as Monkie. ISH! act cute for what??
Look at Mel Mel... hahha.... Soooo cute rite?
And this is Audrey. haha! don't so lansi can not?
Naturally, me!
I loveeeeeeee this shades so much... too bad! nt mine.. :(

:P

I'm in serious shit. I have no idea whatsoever how to do my assignments. I'm dead meat soon. Someone please, before I resort to humiliate myself, save me from certain death? Actually, you should just force me to do it. Don't let me give excuses.

management can be fun

Was having Management classes this morning. Our lecturer taught us about the past and present theories about management. The classical and contemporary views. Blah blah blah. Then she mentioned something that really tickled me.
'Show me your friends, and I tell you what kind of person you are.'
Taking things out of context here, I have an even mixture of PLU and non PLU. Does that make me a bisexual? Hahahahahaha... Worth a thought?
And my dear lecturer also mentioned something with I agree totally.
'People respond to love and attention.'
Yup! So true. So, people, you know what to do. Shower me with lots of love and attention! :D Ok?
Currently stuck in the library's computer labs, supposed to do assignments with my friends, but............... Well, I need not say more. LOL!
Had a dream about you again. OMG! Can you, like, don't haunt my dreams and thoughts day and night? Sigh....

pics

some pics taken during CNY.

Tests

You are the Grass Fragrance Type

You have very strong will, not dependent on others, and gives an impression of being a lone ranger. You are extremely curious and sensual, living a clear-headed and modern life. At first glance you put yourself on a pedestral, and are difficult to get along. But once others talk to you, they know you are easygoing. And when the relationship develops. they realize that you are affable. You have an androgynous charm, which makes you popular with all genders. But you don't like your weak side to be seen. You might look cool on the surface, but beneath it all, you are really passionate. Only people who know your true self can maintain a long-lasting relationship with you.

Was doing this test. Seems rather true, no? Went out today. Went for a movie. 300. Rather interesting. Not much of a story line, but, the scenes, wow! Worth every cent paid. Recently in the mood to camwhore most of the time, I wonder why. Hmm. Suddenly lost the mood to blog. Another time, maybe. Just a thought. Should I cut my hair?

old news

DON'T bully me if you know what's good for you... I'll cry.... den you'll feel guilty!!! HA!! :P
New fren, Taryn Ang... ish... trying to act cute... LOL
lovely, urm, butterfly? moth? lolz... huge one, tho
Jing Mun dear, u drink cili sauce de ar?
No more food....... :'(
This is what happens if the long arm of the law catches up with you.. lolz

Cake - overdue

my birthday cake. Nice not? Btw, i can post pictures edi. :D

Random Landom

Random as random can be.
1st off. Let's talk about food. I tell you, the funny thing about fishballs, and most other kinds of edible balls, are how they expand after absorbing huge amounts of liquid. For instance, check out the pictures on Mel's blog about the breakfast we had this morning, full of TLC.
Next on the list: GST. For you people out there, who should know that GST stands for goods and services tax, we had an interesting 5 minutes lecture on GST. Quote Dr.Kevin, GST is charged for any goods produced or services used. It got me wondering. Services. Inclusive of haircuts, computer servicing, legal help. Does it include the sex trade? It IS a type of service. Humour me for a short while. Let's imagine how one would bring up the matter of GST.
'Hey big fella! GST rules! You'll just have to come up with more if you want pleasure.'
I'm sorry if all this offends any of you.
Last, but not least. Crushes. Or more accurately, friends or love. It's something that kinda haunts most people's minds. Scenario. A likes B very much. When A's friends, C found out, C called A to confirm the truth. A was hurt by B's comments, and that caused their friendship dear. By the way, we're not talking about the normal relationship here. I leave it to your imagination as to what kind of relationship this is.
The thing is, friends and love should go hand in hand, not against one another. One need not give way for the other. But, as things turn out to be, sometimes, this scenario DO happen. Thinking about it, it's all a matter of weighing the pros and cons. Many would say that friends are for life, while love is a once a lifetime thing, so one should maintain the friendship and let love go. Love, in my opinion, is like fire to a moth. Sometimes, chasing after it, is like chasing a unicorn.
I wanted to write some more. But somehow, I don't think I'll be able to express it well. So, let's just cancel that thought. I'm somewhat distracted, I don't know why.
(p/s: Thanks, Jien and JiYen, for your 'ai xin zao can' :D)

feelings

Feelings. They are what makes us human, unique. It because of them, we, Mankind, are both blessed and cursed. Blessed, because Feelings are what sets us apart from mere beasts that roam the Earth, and plants that creep underfoot. Cursed, because at times, your heart feels as if it would be torn into millions of pieces, never to be patched again. And what's the point of having a patched heart? It can never be whole once again.
Falling in love is the best and worst thing ever to befall a person. You feel more alive each day, and greet each day with much enthusiasm, and joy. You feel as if, the whole world is at peace, and stories of wars and human suffering are happening on a totally different planet. Yet. When you don't see eye to eye, every word cuts through your heart, like the Spear of Destiny that pierced Jesus's side, so it does to your heart and soul. You feel a tightening of the chest, and a rasping breath escapes your mouth. You feel worse than ever. Your heart plummets to the center of the world, to depths still unexplored. The world may be singing for joy, the Gods may have paid a visit to Earth, and yet, you feel as if, the bleakest day of your life is unfolding in front of you.
Feelings determine who you are, and what is your destiny. A wise leader who controls his emotions well, may reign for ages, while a leader with too great deal of heart, may find himself/herself taken advantage of, and the throne wrestled from his/her grasp.
Feelings are the cause of every upheaval, every revolution, every victory. People revolt because they feel strongly against a tyrant. Upheavals happen because of oppression. And victory? People go to war, wanting to be victorious, just so that they can go home, and proudly announce, I'm the better one!
Feelings. At the end of the day, Feelings are the root of all things. It's how you handle and control these feelings and emotions that lead you to savour all that life has to offer.

bleh!

Assignments. Hate 'em. Love 'em. A true necessity in life. More so college and Uni life. It's such a suffer. Going through all this.
Important. Bah! I suck at assignments. Ask me to study, and score for Finals, is much, much easier then to do assignments. Good Lord! The only compensation and consolation I get is I get to discuss with friends. Full stop! LOL! Yeah, yeah.. I whine alot. But that's who I am. So get used to it, or get lost. :P
Got to chatting with my junior, and all of a sudden, I find myself feeling... kinda weird. I miss someone, but I don't know who. Weird, eh? I feel, kind of hollow within. Bit sad, really, I don't know why. Perhaps, one of you can explain it to me? I suppose, I miss you real bad. Sometimes, I wish I could hug you now.
Such thoughts! *shakes herself* I should look forward to meeting new friends, and enjoying Uni life, and not give way to such thoughts. Uni life is all about fun, and laughter, and outings, and hair-rising adventures. So. I should and will, eventually, shelve these thoughts and turn my mind to other more pleasant thoughts.

Gangs? Mafia? Mobsters?

Talked to a friend today. And I really salute her for what she did. She kinda handled a gang-related case at Chan Wa 2 yesterday. It takes a great deal of guts to do what she did. Visit her blog for the whole story.
Anyway. Let's talk about gangsterism today. It's so rampant nowadays. And they're recruiting youngsters fresh out of primary schools. And sad to say, Chan Wa has always been associated to this dark side of society. Far from being prevented from entering school gates, it has burrowed underground, leaving a seemingly calm exterior to Chan Wa's reputation. But then again, I digress. Gangs aren't as uncommon as many of us would like to think. All those Hollywood flicks about mobsters and gangs, seem like universes away. In reality, it's happening under our very own noses, shrouded by the veil of darkness and secrecy. Once you're in it, it's for life. But perhaps I'm over-exegerating. Not.
Gangs are like the dark side of our daily, routine lifes. They lead the kind of lifes, many of us yearn deep down. The living on the edge, the recklessness, the twisted kind of freedom to do as you please, the ability to control many's destiny and life with a single gesture, a single act, a single word. It's kinda like tasting forbidden fruit. All the exhilaration, the rush of adrenaline, the pumping of the heart, so ever fast and furious. The fast and hard life everyone shied from, yet wanting to have a taste of what it's like.
Hmm.. Don't know what else to say edi. Exhausted my brain thinking of that paragraph.. LOL! So, I'll stop here? Ciaozzz!!

randomness

It's Friday again, and I'm here blogging. What a joke! Just came back from an outing, and was checking out the Sony Ericsson K800i. Sounds like fun! Oooo..... I want it! Haha.. 1360 lerr... is it too expensive?? Haha.. I have no idea...
Taryn lent me this book today, Falling Leaves. Goddamn nice lerr!! I'm telling you, it's a damn good book. Try it someday.. Hmm..... I may just write a review on that someday. See first laa....
Oh ya! Did I mention that I bumped into an old friend of mine today? Oh ma gawd! She's so freaking hawt now!! The last I saw her, she was still very much innocent.. Now? Good Lord! Hawt hawt hawt!!! Oooo!!! I kinda wish I snapped a picture of her. Sigh! So stupidddddddddddddddddd.........

Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence

You shine in your ability to realate to and understand others. Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel. You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations. A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict. You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Weehahhahahaha

Good afternoon! I'm at the computer labs again. Woke up at 10 this morning. Why? Because I slept late (again!) yesterday.
We visited our old haunts yesterday night. Such fun!! Hehehehe.... Finally!! After long days of waiting and longing, I get to eat my favourite 'maggi mee goreng'.. This time I had the pataya version... yummy!!! I tell you, I really miss hanging out there... After that, we went to play a couple of rounds of pool.... Oooo!! It was fun!! Though I sucked at it.. :'( So sad! And to think that Cass took pics.. OMG!
And I met my dear 'old' friends... Gosh! I really miss chatting with them... I really must make an effort to meet up with them often... I miss them sooo much!!!
By the way, I just found out. PnP programs CAN'T FUNCTION over here!! ARGH!!!!!!! Feel like strangling someone when I found out. Whatever!
Will be meeting Taryn later on... :D Take student ID photo... hahahha... Then I'll suffer later on.. Gosh! LT 7 dey!! Die!

6th March

Spent my whole day sleeping. Swt! And now? I'm stuck in the labs, with absolutely nothing to do. Let's recap the day, shall we?
3.30 am - Slept
8.50 am - Woke up
9.30 am - Went to do my LAN exemption stuff
10.15 am - Had lunch with Sea Win and company
11.00 am - Computer labs
12.00 pm - Lunch with Mel, Cass and Taryn
12.40 pm - Back at the computer labs
Sienifying day of my life. Sigh! So much for not wanting early morning classes.

(P/s: You know something? I think I really could fall for you. And exorcise the ghosts of my past. Maybe. Just maybe. Just a thought.)