untitled

She told me, I should get sunnies. Reason being, that people would fall in love with me the moment they look into my eyes. *Laughs* How cute.

I miss her, every minute of every day that my mind is not occupied. She's central in all my fantasies, my desires, my dreams, my make-believe world. Hard, being apart this way. Doubly hard, not being able to talk everyday. Triply hard, when things get tough and strength of will gets tested. I wish, she could come for my convocation. I wish, she could just come over, whenever. I actually asked her to come over when she asked me what I wanted as a gift for doing well for exams. (I got 3D 1C) Sadly, it couldn't be anytime soon. I asked for Xmas, and she said she'll try. But idk. Somehow, it feels like the odds are not in my favor. Or perhaps she'll actually come this time.

I... It feels like I'm asking for the moon, the earth, the sun, the entire universe. Feels like I'm mooning after a phantom, an illustration, a figment of my imagination. Am I just dreaming? I miss my baby. *pouts* Funnily enough, this post is not meant to be emo, yet, it seems to be heading that way. Doesn't it? I feel like, I'm asking for more than she can/could/want to give. Do I? Perhaps I do.

She's really amazing. Life would be so much better if she was here. She could make me smile just like that, without needing much effort. Just being able to hear her voice, hear her laughter, is emough to put a smile on my face. When we talk, it feels like the rest of the world just falls apart, into the background. She brightens up my day and leaves me in a good mood for the rest of the day. Just her. Her and my kid. Family. That's all I want, for Xmas.

Is it too early to want a Xmas gift?

*Editted*

My castle in the air, is that of you me and a family. To be able to go home to hugs and kisses, and welcoming embraces and kids having fun in the background. That's my castle in the air. You, me a family.