resigned

looking back
you were one of the reasons
i remember those days vividly.

we weren't that close, then,
but as time pass,
our frenship got closer.

then u cut me off.
i was sad,
i was hurt.
i was puzzled,
because i could feel you
keeping something from me.

circumstances were such
that v couldn't keep in touch

but now that i've found you again.
i find myself getting confused.

not being able to keep in touch with you then,
was sad.
having to get your number from another person,
was pathetic.
being rebuffed by you,
was hurtful.

i only react this way with you.
if it were other people,
i wouldn't act in this way.

i see it now.
my feelings for you
is beyond that of frenship,
i believe.
my caring for you,
is more of a fren,
i hope.

you really mean a lot to me
and i go by your judgement a lot.
after much pondering and deliberation,
i know that is true.

but i also know you.
shud the question arise,
the answer would be no.
and our frenship will crumble.

i've experienced this before.
this crumbling of frenships
and i dont want it to happen again.

the question will nvr come to pass
eventhough i want to be by your side
to love and to cherish
still
holding back seems to be appopriate.

it's something i took ages to accept
that bleak reality.

i daren't ask for more
sometimes,
i just wish that you think
of me half as often as i do of you

a simple greeting
a simple question
a simple sentence
at least i'll know
i wasn't far away....