the wake

right now, as i'm blogging, i take comfort in finishing a stick of ice cream.
tis will be a normal post, without much fancy language.
let's recap the weekend.
friday nite, i was watching tis drame series till 4 am.. :D i went to bed tired, but satisfied as i finally got to watch after 1 week of trials. mom woke up 1 hr 30 minutes later to get ready to go school.. yea.. i noe... school on a saturday??? turns out they had to have a replacement day... dad woke me up at 8. 30 and v had breakfast. thn tis gal here chose to go back to bed as she was freaking tired.. haha... pop! to bed i went.. woke at 11 and had a bath. thn followed dad out to school. chatted with one of my juniors, Pei Sun, till almost 1. thn went down to find mom.
v went home, and had lunch. during lunch, i remembered dad asking me to pass on a msg to mom tat grandma called. so mom called back. and v had d shock of our lives. grand uncle willie had passed away at 12 midnight, friday. we were shocked. i felt, and so did mom, that we had to make tis trip to kl. dad cant make it for certain reasons.
on the way to the train station, in the car, suddenly the reality set in. i could feel myself tearing.
basically, i'm bit surprised. i never expected to cry for a person i'm hardly close with. i cried again for a short while while waiting for the train to come. when we reached Trinity Church, and i saw grand auntie gan, it was a whole different story.

her eyes were soulless, she was lost. i sensed great pain and grief in her. i could see that she has lost her sense of direction and purpose. it was as if she was blundering in the dark, searching for something, but cant find it. it wsa as if she was suddenly put into this foreign land, with nothing and nobody to help her. i see as if she was put in the spotlight, all alone, with suppressed feelings and emotions. i felt such sorrow and hurt and pain, just by looking at her face.

in fact, i felt the pain from everyone there. but more so from the immediate family, namely uncle david, aunty anne and uncle kevin. i pity them. my heart went out to them, especially g.auntie gan... the poor dear...
there is so much more i want to say and write, but i just dont have to heart to write it down anymore. so i shall just leave right here.