helpless

your heart keeps saying, it's just not fair,
but still you have to make up your mind.
are you gonna stay with the who loves you
or are you going back to the one you love.

tat's the song i was hearing just now, in the car. sori james. here's another sad post. no brightness watsoever.

looking at the phone
hoping it would bring
a message
a call

but it remains silent
wat remains
is but the time ticking away
second by second
minute by minute
tick! tick!
the hours go by

despite everything,
i pick up the phone
typing you messages
calling your number
always making the 1st move

never grudging the fact that
you never called
never messaged
hardly replied

somehow,
i came to realize,
how fruitless it is
to feel so deeply for you

at the end of the day
i would never be at the edge of your mind
i would never be the one you share everything with
i would never be an integral part of your life

i would only be a fren
i would only be the one who stands by your side all the time, silently
i would only be the one you call, when you're free
i would only be the one you call, when you have something to ask, or discuss

i'm so tired of giving all the time.
in a sense, i call it upon myself.
knowing how useless it is,
yet still holding on.

but it's the last straw.
5 hours and ticking,
and still the phone remains silent.
silence is golden,
but there is nth golden about the moment.

i'm so tired....
teach me how to let you go,
coz i cant find the strength in me,
to let you free.....