volcano

life is like a volcano.
it lays dormant for a long period of time.
and when it does erupts.
it leaves you speechless and
scrambling for cover.
it comes suddenly, the eruption.
without notice, without warning.
it scars you emotionally and mentally.

people tell me.
everything in life is a challenge,
a test from God.
then why is it that some people,
have to face more 'challenges' and 'tests',
then others?
they say,
it's 'cause they are special.
God has other plans for them.

they say,
be strong and face all that God
throws into your face.
but they never said
how hard it would be,
or how it can break you.

once you fall, it tramples all over you.
you can hardly scramble to your knees.
it doesn't help when your loved ones
don't offer you a helping hand.
worse still, when they don't
understand you.

at the end of the day,
either you crawl back up,
or you lay spawling on the streets.
but.
for sure you will be marked.
emotionally and mentally.
forever more.

meaningless days

without you,
the sun don't shine nomore.
without you,
the stars are pale.
without you,
the days are bleak and meaningless.
without you,
seconds turn to hours, and hours seem to stretch beyond imagination.

would that i be,
but a bird,
flying to your side,
being with you every second, every minute.

or even change into the very air that you breathe,
forever billowing
as a gust of wind..
to cool you down,
as you walk down the streets,
in the scorching hot sun.

all i want,
is to be by your side.
to hold you when you fall,
to support you when need arise.
to comfort you when you fail.
to cheer when u succeed.

all that and more,
is what i really want to do.
but i can't.
i just can't.
i can only sit here, in the darkness,
waiting for that phone call.
the suspense is killing me.
oh... won't that phone please ring?
i miss my dear so.....

hapiness

i enjoy hanging out,
more so with frenz.
frenz tat i have never met for so long.
despite not having met for around 8 months or so,
there was laughter and enjoyment,
one that was lacking for me previously.
i guess who you go out with makes a whole new difference
i had a blast today.
hanging out with 4 of my closest frenz during highschool.
chatting and gossiping for the sake of it...
fun, nice, enjoyable.
the only regret was we had to cut it short.
i hope we can go out like this again,
dont you feel the same too??

my dear piggy

C	Creative
H	Handy
I	Innocent
N	Nutty
S	Sloppy
I	Innocent
E	Excellent
W	Wild
P	Proud
E	Exquisite
N	Naughty
G	Gloomy

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bit of everything.....

i nvr realized how lonesome it gets....
i miss sch, i miss my frenz,
i miss being able to do duty,
i miss my juniors,
i miss sitting in d prefect room, after duties and juz chit chat.. ( nt tht ppl chat wif me often)
i miss lessons in a big, hot classroom....
i miss the noise when there is no teacher/btwn classes
i miss the old times....
if only time can be reversed....
if only i could bottled up time,
i would save those times in a jar and keep it by me always....
it might nt have been pleasant for me always.
i might have gotten ignored thousands of times...
bt still would i treasure those times...
at least, i had my frenz wif me...
only a phone call away....

was THIS all a mistake??
was i wrong in trying 2 achieve my dreams??
was i wrong in wanting freedom??
until u lose it, then will you appreciate it....
i thought my frenz cared....
bt it's always me who mainly made d 1st move...

i feel neglected...
i was, am, possibly will always be, ignored at times...
am i really so unattractive a person to not be able your frenship??
i feel like a clown..
smiling always on the outside...
quietly breaking down on the inside..
ppl think that it is easy for me..
studies and stuff.....

bt i dun mind giving up part of it juz to be able to fit in....
yet...
i juz AM..... i cant change d way i am....
i'm nt extrovert, rather,
much introvert....
i no longer noe wat i wan anymore...
i always assumed that those whos' frenship i value above most would always be there..
i nvr for once, thought that it would come tis...
i nvr thought tat TIS could be happening....
i feel as if i'm in a room,
trapped by four walls, and no doors, no windows....
and the walls are closing in....

it aches....
so much so tat i can hardly draw a breath w/o stilling my emotions....
ppl dun see it.... all they see is juz a projected ice-queen, cant be bothered, smart ass imej....
have i rili perfected tat look so well?? so much so tat it is flawless??

frenz.....
where are you when i needed someone??
where are you when i silently called for help??
where are you when all i wanted was ur support??
where are you when juz a msg would suffice??

i noe, i hardly msg u....
perhaps i am expecting too much....
bt i thought we were frenz....

still i would treasure the times v once shared....
at least, 曾经拥有终比不曾有好.......
i guess.........

going bonkers

tis is the first post whereby i shall not compose poems.
y?? coz d writer is sick! and she is announcing it to the whole world. perhaps there are some people out there that feels this writer is taking things overboard... but the writer feels that prevention is better then cure...
a fren of mine finally unloaded to another fren about most of her probs.... she told this writer that she felt much better, coz it was like a burden off her shoulders.... i truly believe, frenz can be a help, but just dun put too much trust entirely on a person... and choosing tat special fren shud be a long and careful process.... i'm glad tat tat fren of mine decided to unload some of her burdens.... perhaps now, she wont feel so bad, and not feel the need to cry sometimes....
u noe, i personally feel that, when a seemingly strong person crys, it is terrible.. to break tat outer appearance of strength takes a great deal.... sometimes, not being able to cry is also a inability.... sometimes, u can feel something choking u, u want to cry but juz cant.... sometimes, it gets so hard that u cant breathe sometimes....

my good bud in high sch

C	Cute
H	Handsome
O	Outrageous
N	Normal
G	Gorgeous
Y	Yummy
U	Useful
A	Amorous
N	Naughty
Y	Yummy
I	Industrious
H	Honorable

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