I don't understand. I'm not even all that good. There are other people out there who are way better then me. They make way better partners then me. So pray explain to me, how can someone be in love with the thought of me? I mean, it does not really make sense. I can understand how my gf is so into me, and that's...... Oh wait. I STILL don't get how she fell in love with me. I mean, I get the whole attraction thing, but it's a whole different ball game, falling in love.
Perhaps I should not analyze so much. I mean, I should just take compliments as they come, right? I mean, I have an angel who loves me like no other, someone whose entire world is me. I should be thankful and grateful I have her in my life. I really should not ask questions right? But this. This whole business of her friend being in love with the thought of me. Oh. My. God.
What's so good about me anyway? =x
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
ponder
Ok. So I'm supposed to be studying. Sue me. Just visited a friend's blog. Had a chat with another friend. I wonder.
I was contented earlier on. But, somehow, I can't stop these thoughts from forming. Being gay, is after all, no fun. Never has been, never will be. There will always be people who look at you one kind. And hiding your sexuality, forms a habit in you, to hide your truest and deepest feelings and thoughts. I mean, if you can't even be open about your sexuality, you can't expect to be open about most other stuff. Your sexual orientation is the thing that affects you for life.
Ok. I was rambling. Thing is, it's never going to be simple being gay. Let's be realistic. Here in Malaysia, gays are frowned upon. People call you abnormal, freak, abomination, all because you're interested in someone of the same gender sexually. I mean, platonic interest is no big concern, but sexually? Practically 90% of Malaysians are against it. Even if they don't openly express it, you can see it in their eyes.
The hard part is not really admitting to yourself that you're gay. Ok. Perhaps it is. All this while you thought that you're normal. But when you start developing more then friendly feelings towards somebody of the same gender, you get confused and angsty and all that. Admitting to yourself that you're gay, can be like a burden lifted off your shoulders. You seek love, and find love, and you can't proclaim it to the whole world. The hardest part is coming out to people who matter to you.
You see heterosexual people hugging and kissing and being all lovey dovey in public, and there is a tugging at your heartstrings. Sure, you could do the same, but would you still do it, knowing that anytime, you might be sighted by someone whom you don't want to reveal your identity to? You hear your straight friends telling you that they brought their partner back home to introduce to their family, and how they had a good time as a whole. While they talk, you can't help wondering, how would your family react if you were to introduce your partner as your partner and not just a friend.
A note of interest is that this has nothing to do with the conversation I had, or the blog I read. This is something a friend of mine mentioned days ago. Don't get me wrong. I love my baby very very much. But there is always a nagging at the back of my head: Can I introduce her to XXX as my gf? Or just as a friend? If I'm with a huge bunch of friends, I can't exactly show too much affection, as there would be people who do not agree with our relationship. I can't even introduce her to my family, my parents, as my gf, their eventual daughter in law.
I'm not being emotional here, but more of rational thinking. Love really isn't everything. It's everything that matters, but it isn't everything. Our love for each other makes us happy, but it would not necessarily change people's minds about us. There will always be objections.
I wonder. Just because my chosen life partner happens to be someone of the same gender, does that give others the right to judge my life? I'm not saying that there are people judging me, but it's going to happen eventually. I mean, everybody deserves a chance at happily forever after... right? Everybody deserves to love and to be loved, right? Everybody deserves a shot at happiness, right? So how does it make it different if it's someone of the same sex?
So you say it's not natural. "A man and a woman" So it is decreed. But. If that is the case, why are there people who are borned gay? Is it because of genetics? Pyschologic? Upbringing? Hormones? Instinct? Trauma? I'm not refuting the Bible. All I'm saying is, if God meant for every guy to be with a woman, why are there people who are borned with the tendency to love someone of the same sex?
Sometimes, it's so confusing, this whole religion thing and society's view on gay people. Sometimes, it's just goddamn annoying. Sometimes, it's downright saddening, knowing that perhaps someday you have to choose between your family and your partner; you have to choose between being true to who you really are, and conforming to what society thinks is acceptable. It's what the Chinese says: both the palm and the back of your hand is flesh and blood. Either way, both will hurt. How are you supposed to choose?
Don't ask me what prompted me to write something as long as that. I'm just stating cold hard facts. Facts that hurt so very much. I need my baby right now.
I was contented earlier on. But, somehow, I can't stop these thoughts from forming. Being gay, is after all, no fun. Never has been, never will be. There will always be people who look at you one kind. And hiding your sexuality, forms a habit in you, to hide your truest and deepest feelings and thoughts. I mean, if you can't even be open about your sexuality, you can't expect to be open about most other stuff. Your sexual orientation is the thing that affects you for life.
Ok. I was rambling. Thing is, it's never going to be simple being gay. Let's be realistic. Here in Malaysia, gays are frowned upon. People call you abnormal, freak, abomination, all because you're interested in someone of the same gender sexually. I mean, platonic interest is no big concern, but sexually? Practically 90% of Malaysians are against it. Even if they don't openly express it, you can see it in their eyes.
The hard part is not really admitting to yourself that you're gay. Ok. Perhaps it is. All this while you thought that you're normal. But when you start developing more then friendly feelings towards somebody of the same gender, you get confused and angsty and all that. Admitting to yourself that you're gay, can be like a burden lifted off your shoulders. You seek love, and find love, and you can't proclaim it to the whole world. The hardest part is coming out to people who matter to you.
You see heterosexual people hugging and kissing and being all lovey dovey in public, and there is a tugging at your heartstrings. Sure, you could do the same, but would you still do it, knowing that anytime, you might be sighted by someone whom you don't want to reveal your identity to? You hear your straight friends telling you that they brought their partner back home to introduce to their family, and how they had a good time as a whole. While they talk, you can't help wondering, how would your family react if you were to introduce your partner as your partner and not just a friend.
A note of interest is that this has nothing to do with the conversation I had, or the blog I read. This is something a friend of mine mentioned days ago. Don't get me wrong. I love my baby very very much. But there is always a nagging at the back of my head: Can I introduce her to XXX as my gf? Or just as a friend? If I'm with a huge bunch of friends, I can't exactly show too much affection, as there would be people who do not agree with our relationship. I can't even introduce her to my family, my parents, as my gf, their eventual daughter in law.
I'm not being emotional here, but more of rational thinking. Love really isn't everything. It's everything that matters, but it isn't everything. Our love for each other makes us happy, but it would not necessarily change people's minds about us. There will always be objections.
I wonder. Just because my chosen life partner happens to be someone of the same gender, does that give others the right to judge my life? I'm not saying that there are people judging me, but it's going to happen eventually. I mean, everybody deserves a chance at happily forever after... right? Everybody deserves to love and to be loved, right? Everybody deserves a shot at happiness, right? So how does it make it different if it's someone of the same sex?
So you say it's not natural. "A man and a woman" So it is decreed. But. If that is the case, why are there people who are borned gay? Is it because of genetics? Pyschologic? Upbringing? Hormones? Instinct? Trauma? I'm not refuting the Bible. All I'm saying is, if God meant for every guy to be with a woman, why are there people who are borned with the tendency to love someone of the same sex?
Sometimes, it's so confusing, this whole religion thing and society's view on gay people. Sometimes, it's just goddamn annoying. Sometimes, it's downright saddening, knowing that perhaps someday you have to choose between your family and your partner; you have to choose between being true to who you really are, and conforming to what society thinks is acceptable. It's what the Chinese says: both the palm and the back of your hand is flesh and blood. Either way, both will hurt. How are you supposed to choose?
Don't ask me what prompted me to write something as long as that. I'm just stating cold hard facts. Facts that hurt so very much. I need my baby right now.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
*yawn*
I was not tagged, but i'm in the mood for tags. So here goes.
1. If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
> I would leave and cry my heart out.
2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
> I would want to pass all my exams and graduate on time.
3. If you were the opposite gender, what would you do?
> Be gay. (So totally agree with anne's answer) LOL
4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
> Keep a portion to be invested for my kids, and the rest goes to my partner, my family and charity.
5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
> I don't really believe in the whole best friend concept.
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
> Loving someone and being loved by the same someone. (cant negate that)
7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
> I don't have to wait anymore. I already have her. =)
8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
> Leave it up to fate. =P
9. Have you ever been labeled as a snatcher?
> Nopes.
10. What would make your mood change the fastest?
> My baby. If I talk to her when she's upset, my mood will change the moment I hear her voice.
11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
> Happily married.
12. What do you really want at the moment of responding to this tag?
> I feel like sleeping but I really want to hear my panda's voice.
13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
> Well, technically, she din tag me. But Anne is really funny and nice to talk to. =P
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
> Married and rich. =P
15. What is the 1st thing you do when you wake up?
> Call my gf.
16. Would you give all in a relationship?
> Duh, yes. Anything and everything.
17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who will you pick?
> The one with whom the future is the brightest.
18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
> I would forgive, but I don't think I could ever forget.
19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
> Both has its perks, but I'm currently more then happy to be with my baby. ;)
1. If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
> I would leave and cry my heart out.
2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
> I would want to pass all my exams and graduate on time.
3. If you were the opposite gender, what would you do?
> Be gay. (So totally agree with anne's answer) LOL
4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
> Keep a portion to be invested for my kids, and the rest goes to my partner, my family and charity.
5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
> I don't really believe in the whole best friend concept.
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
> Loving someone and being loved by the same someone. (cant negate that)
7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
> I don't have to wait anymore. I already have her. =)
8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
> Leave it up to fate. =P
9. Have you ever been labeled as a snatcher?
> Nopes.
10. What would make your mood change the fastest?
> My baby. If I talk to her when she's upset, my mood will change the moment I hear her voice.
11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
> Happily married.
12. What do you really want at the moment of responding to this tag?
> I feel like sleeping but I really want to hear my panda's voice.
13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
> Well, technically, she din tag me. But Anne is really funny and nice to talk to. =P
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
> Married and rich. =P
15. What is the 1st thing you do when you wake up?
> Call my gf.
16. Would you give all in a relationship?
> Duh, yes. Anything and everything.
17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who will you pick?
> The one with whom the future is the brightest.
18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
> I would forgive, but I don't think I could ever forget.
19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
> Both has its perks, but I'm currently more then happy to be with my baby. ;)
Saturday, September 27, 2008
curi
Found this tag in Monkie's blog. Liked it. And since I was feeling bored (the non stop sneezing can do that to you), I decided to flinch it from her. So here goes.
1. How old are you?
> 20 lor, 21 soon... far too soon... =x
2. Are you single?
> Nopes. One could say I'm engaged. =x
3. At what age do you think you'll get married?
> Hmmm, not too sure about that... Perhaps, around 25 - 28
4. Do you think you'll be marrying the person you're with now?
> Of course. We're more or less engaged. =P
5. If not, who do you want to marry?
> Nobody else besides my baby will do.
6. Do you want a garden/beach wedding, or the traditional church wedding?
> Garden. Definitely.
7. Your ideal motif?
> Something cool, I don't know what yet. =/
8. Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?
> Anywhere. That's up to my baby.
9. How many guests do you think you'll invite?
> All my friends who are non homophobic.
10. Do you want an extravagant or a simple wedding?
> Kinda simple, I think. Just family, and friends. Nothing majorly extravagant.
11. Do you want the traditional vows, or something you'd make up on your own?
> Something I'd make up on my own, because my girl deserves nothing short of unique, and my speech would be made solely for her and about her.
12. How many layers of cake do you want to have?
> Hmmm... 3? I don't know yet...
13. When do you want to get married, morning or evening?
> Evening. More romantic. =P
14. You'd rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?
> Outdoors, I guess. I don't know.
15. Do you like a grand entrance?
> I want something that would make people sit up and that notice.
16. no question? =( skip!
17. Name the song/tune you'd liked played at your wedding.
> I'll like 'Bleeding Love' cz that's our song, but I would like to dance with her to 'The Way You Look At Me'.
18. Are you a morning or night person?
> Night. I stay up so late I can be considered a vampire already. =x
19. Do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?
> Depends on my baby.
20. What age do you want to get married?
> She says 28, I was thinking sometime earlier. =x
21. Describe your ideal husband.
> Sorry, but for me, that would be 'ideal wife'. She would be fun, loving, caring, and loyal. =D
22. Do you prefer fine dining or the normal spoon & fork/knife?
> Fine dining I guess. =X
23. Champagne or red wine?
> Champagne. It's a cause for celebration. ;)
24. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
> Right after, days after. Who cares? As long as I have my baby with me forever, either way is fine by me. =P
25. Money or household items?
> I would prefer to get my own household items thank you.
26. Who will pay for the bills?
> Together. =P
27. Are you ready for married life?
> I don't know. =P
28. Will you always be true to your wife/husband?
> Yeap!
29. How many kids do you wanna have?
> Ideally 2, a girl and a boy. LOL!
I wanna tag: Whoever that enjoys these things as much as me. =P
1. How old are you?
> 20 lor, 21 soon... far too soon... =x
2. Are you single?
> Nopes. One could say I'm engaged. =x
3. At what age do you think you'll get married?
> Hmmm, not too sure about that... Perhaps, around 25 - 28
4. Do you think you'll be marrying the person you're with now?
> Of course. We're more or less engaged. =P
5. If not, who do you want to marry?
> Nobody else besides my baby will do.
6. Do you want a garden/beach wedding, or the traditional church wedding?
> Garden. Definitely.
7. Your ideal motif?
> Something cool, I don't know what yet. =/
8. Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?
> Anywhere. That's up to my baby.
9. How many guests do you think you'll invite?
> All my friends who are non homophobic.
10. Do you want an extravagant or a simple wedding?
> Kinda simple, I think. Just family, and friends. Nothing majorly extravagant.
11. Do you want the traditional vows, or something you'd make up on your own?
> Something I'd make up on my own, because my girl deserves nothing short of unique, and my speech would be made solely for her and about her.
12. How many layers of cake do you want to have?
> Hmmm... 3? I don't know yet...
13. When do you want to get married, morning or evening?
> Evening. More romantic. =P
14. You'd rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?
> Outdoors, I guess. I don't know.
15. Do you like a grand entrance?
> I want something that would make people sit up and that notice.
16. no question? =( skip!
17. Name the song/tune you'd liked played at your wedding.
> I'll like 'Bleeding Love' cz that's our song, but I would like to dance with her to 'The Way You Look At Me'.
18. Are you a morning or night person?
> Night. I stay up so late I can be considered a vampire already. =x
19. Do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?
> Depends on my baby.
20. What age do you want to get married?
> She says 28, I was thinking sometime earlier. =x
21. Describe your ideal husband.
> Sorry, but for me, that would be 'ideal wife'. She would be fun, loving, caring, and loyal. =D
22. Do you prefer fine dining or the normal spoon & fork/knife?
> Fine dining I guess. =X
23. Champagne or red wine?
> Champagne. It's a cause for celebration. ;)
24. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
> Right after, days after. Who cares? As long as I have my baby with me forever, either way is fine by me. =P
25. Money or household items?
> I would prefer to get my own household items thank you.
26. Who will pay for the bills?
> Together. =P
27. Are you ready for married life?
> I don't know. =P
28. Will you always be true to your wife/husband?
> Yeap!
29. How many kids do you wanna have?
> Ideally 2, a girl and a boy. LOL!
I wanna tag: Whoever that enjoys these things as much as me. =P
RSUC
And so mid sem break is here. Finally. After slogging like hell over my cramped assignment schedule, I can finally take a breather and rest for a short while before taking up my books once again. I mean, I've really got to start sometime soon.
Like I said, holidays are here. I was so supposed to meet up with a couple of friends when I came back, but, it got canceled. Therefore, I'm stuck here at home for now. But it aint all that bad... yet.
I came back yesterday, and dad drove me to town to get lunch for me. He got me Nasi Minang with beef rendang. YUMMY! I ate the whole packet, which is like, a huge bowl of rice. And that was around 3 pm. At 6 plus, we went to check out some appliances. My folks wanted to get an oven and a microwave. And so we checked out some other stuff as well since we were in the vincinity. Looked out for fridges, tvs, washing machines and water heaters. lol!
We went over to Royal Sungai Ujong Club, RSUC, for dinner. We ordered: 2 mutton briyani, 1 chicken kebab, 2 pieces of tandoori chicken, 1 tandoori naan, 2 lime juices and 1 teh tarik kurang manis. Well, most of it went down MY stomach. =D oh right. Did I mention that the briyani is very very filling? Another big place of rice. *blushes* oh! I also forgot to add the fact that I had ice cream after all that.
Fantastic dinner, only to be rivaled by perhaps, steamboat. Since I can pretty much go at least 5 rounds for steamboat, I suppose it's safe to say that steamboat is really my kinda meal. I'm so looking forward to grandpa preparing it. I know I know. I'm greedy. But I can't help it. I just love food, yummy, tasty, flavourful food.
My baby calls me greedy, but I swear, I'm not. I just have a passion for good food. =D So yeah. I'm looking forward to having fabulous food while I'm back. I promise I'll shed the extra pounds when I'm back in hostel. =P
Like I said, holidays are here. I was so supposed to meet up with a couple of friends when I came back, but, it got canceled. Therefore, I'm stuck here at home for now. But it aint all that bad... yet.
I came back yesterday, and dad drove me to town to get lunch for me. He got me Nasi Minang with beef rendang. YUMMY! I ate the whole packet, which is like, a huge bowl of rice. And that was around 3 pm. At 6 plus, we went to check out some appliances. My folks wanted to get an oven and a microwave. And so we checked out some other stuff as well since we were in the vincinity. Looked out for fridges, tvs, washing machines and water heaters. lol!
We went over to Royal Sungai Ujong Club, RSUC, for dinner. We ordered: 2 mutton briyani, 1 chicken kebab, 2 pieces of tandoori chicken, 1 tandoori naan, 2 lime juices and 1 teh tarik kurang manis. Well, most of it went down MY stomach. =D oh right. Did I mention that the briyani is very very filling? Another big place of rice. *blushes* oh! I also forgot to add the fact that I had ice cream after all that.
Fantastic dinner, only to be rivaled by perhaps, steamboat. Since I can pretty much go at least 5 rounds for steamboat, I suppose it's safe to say that steamboat is really my kinda meal. I'm so looking forward to grandpa preparing it. I know I know. I'm greedy. But I can't help it. I just love food, yummy, tasty, flavourful food.
My baby calls me greedy, but I swear, I'm not. I just have a passion for good food. =D So yeah. I'm looking forward to having fabulous food while I'm back. I promise I'll shed the extra pounds when I'm back in hostel. =P
Thursday, September 18, 2008
overdued
Tagged by LiShan. Here goes:
Tag rules:
1. Rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.
Time: 10.34am
Name: Laura
Sisters: 0
Brothers: 0
Shoe size: 7 / 8, depends on shop.
Height: 160 cm (?)
Where do you live: Malaysia
Fav drinks: alcohol, juices, cold drinks
Fav breakfast: Pan mee, bacon and eggs, cereals
Have you ever been on a plane: Yesh
Swam in the ocean: Yea?
Fell asleep in school: Yea...
Broken somebody's heart: I don't think so?
Fell off your chair: Nopes
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Yea... My gf...
Saved emails: Yeap
What is your room like: Me. =P
What is right beside you: Accounting Handbook 2007... Of course, I much prefer it to be my gf
What is the last thing you ate: Cafe food. =.=
EVER HAD...
Chicken pox: Nopes
Sore throat: Yeap
Stitches: Nopes
Broken nose: Nopes
Do you believe in love at 1st sight: I guess
Like picnics: Yeap
Last person you danced with: Myself?
Last made you smiled: My gf
You last yelled at: My gf as well... =(
TODAY YOU DID...
Talked to someone you like: Yeap
Kissed someone: Does virtual kisses count?
Get sick: Hell no!
Talked to an ex: None
Miss someone: Yeap
Best feeling in the world: When she says I love you
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: Yeap, Tweety! =)
What's under your bed: Books and stuff
What time is it now: 12.29 pm
RANDOMS...
Is there a person who is on your mind right now?
Yes, my baby
Do you have any siblings?
No
Do you want children?
Twins if possible
Do you smile often?
Kinda
Do you like your handwriting?
Nopes
Are your toenails painted?
Nopes
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in?
Hers
What colour shirt are you wearing?
White
What were you doing at 7.00 pm last night?
Sleeping I think
I cant wait till...
I get her in my arms for good.
When did you cry last?
A couple of days ago
Are you a friendly person?
90% of the time
Do you have any pets?
Yeap, my beloved Biscuits
Where is the person you have feelings for right now?
*grumbles* with the baby. She chose him over me! =(
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you right now?
She's just a friend.
Do you sleep with the tv on?
I'm not an old folk.
What are you doing right now?
Multitasking
Have you ever crawled through a window?
Nopes
Can I handle the truth?
Do cows graze? =.=
Are you closer to your mom or dad?
Mom
Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Myself
How many people can you say you really loved?
A few, too few...
Do I eat healthy?
Moderate
Do you still have pictures of you and your ex?
Er, no ex, no pics.
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?
Yea, I think so.
how often do you go to church?
Never?
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?
My baby...
Are you loud or quiet most of the time?
Varies
Are you confident?
Kinda?
5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
i) Studying
ii) Being a nerd?
iii) Only concern was my Chinese tuition
iv) Loved and spoiled by my parents
v) Loner?
5 snacks I enjoy
i) Rocky
ii) Pringles
iii) Nachos
iv) Tim Tams
v) Kacang Putih
5 things I would do if I were a billionaire
i) Travel around the world
ii) Help the needy
iii) Fulfill all my fantasies
iv) Live a semi retired life with my baby
v) Make the world a better place? (yea rite)
5 of my bad habits
i) Procrastinate
ii) Flirt?
iii) Whine
iv) Facebook and msn all the time
v) Joke around once too often
5 places I have lived in
i) Seremban
ii) Rampai
iii) SS15
iv) Sunway
v) Going to live in USA (Does this count? =P)
5 jobs I've had
i) Lover
ii) Student
iii) Daughter
iv) Poll clerk
v) Vote counter
(LOL!!)
5 lucky people:
i) Yang
ii) Darling
iii) Anne
iv) Ally
v) Mary
Tag rules:
1. Rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.
Time: 10.34am
Name: Laura
Sisters: 0
Brothers: 0
Shoe size: 7 / 8, depends on shop.
Height: 160 cm (?)
Where do you live: Malaysia
Fav drinks: alcohol, juices, cold drinks
Fav breakfast: Pan mee, bacon and eggs, cereals
Have you ever been on a plane: Yesh
Swam in the ocean: Yea?
Fell asleep in school: Yea...
Broken somebody's heart: I don't think so?
Fell off your chair: Nopes
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Yea... My gf...
Saved emails: Yeap
What is your room like: Me. =P
What is right beside you: Accounting Handbook 2007... Of course, I much prefer it to be my gf
What is the last thing you ate: Cafe food. =.=
EVER HAD...
Chicken pox: Nopes
Sore throat: Yeap
Stitches: Nopes
Broken nose: Nopes
Do you believe in love at 1st sight: I guess
Like picnics: Yeap
Last person you danced with: Myself?
Last made you smiled: My gf
You last yelled at: My gf as well... =(
TODAY YOU DID...
Talked to someone you like: Yeap
Kissed someone: Does virtual kisses count?
Get sick: Hell no!
Talked to an ex: None
Miss someone: Yeap
Best feeling in the world: When she says I love you
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: Yeap, Tweety! =)
What's under your bed: Books and stuff
What time is it now: 12.29 pm
RANDOMS...
Is there a person who is on your mind right now?
Yes, my baby
Do you have any siblings?
No
Do you want children?
Twins if possible
Do you smile often?
Kinda
Do you like your handwriting?
Nopes
Are your toenails painted?
Nopes
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in?
Hers
What colour shirt are you wearing?
White
What were you doing at 7.00 pm last night?
Sleeping I think
I cant wait till...
I get her in my arms for good.
When did you cry last?
A couple of days ago
Are you a friendly person?
90% of the time
Do you have any pets?
Yeap, my beloved Biscuits
Where is the person you have feelings for right now?
*grumbles* with the baby. She chose him over me! =(
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you right now?
She's just a friend.
Do you sleep with the tv on?
I'm not an old folk.
What are you doing right now?
Multitasking
Have you ever crawled through a window?
Nopes
Can I handle the truth?
Do cows graze? =.=
Are you closer to your mom or dad?
Mom
Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Myself
How many people can you say you really loved?
A few, too few...
Do I eat healthy?
Moderate
Do you still have pictures of you and your ex?
Er, no ex, no pics.
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?
Yea, I think so.
how often do you go to church?
Never?
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?
My baby...
Are you loud or quiet most of the time?
Varies
Are you confident?
Kinda?
5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
i) Studying
ii) Being a nerd?
iii) Only concern was my Chinese tuition
iv) Loved and spoiled by my parents
v) Loner?
5 snacks I enjoy
i) Rocky
ii) Pringles
iii) Nachos
iv) Tim Tams
v) Kacang Putih
5 things I would do if I were a billionaire
i) Travel around the world
ii) Help the needy
iii) Fulfill all my fantasies
iv) Live a semi retired life with my baby
v) Make the world a better place? (yea rite)
5 of my bad habits
i) Procrastinate
ii) Flirt?
iii) Whine
iv) Facebook and msn all the time
v) Joke around once too often
5 places I have lived in
i) Seremban
ii) Rampai
iii) SS15
iv) Sunway
v) Going to live in USA (Does this count? =P)
5 jobs I've had
i) Lover
ii) Student
iii) Daughter
iv) Poll clerk
v) Vote counter
(LOL!!)
5 lucky people:
i) Yang
ii) Darling
iii) Anne
iv) Ally
v) Mary
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Air Square
Different, yet so alike. Some times, I believe, our fates are written in the skies. Perhaps, me and my baby, ours are one of those whom Fate brought together. Even our years of important changes are the same, with the next one coming next year. Well, you could say it's important, because next year will be the 1st time I'm going to meet her in person and spend time with her for real. I'm so tired right now, I can't even blog much. I'm just going to be random here, and tell you guys to check this out. If you type in my bday (3rd Feb) and hers (30th May), you'll find certain items rather similar. Same elements eh? Air + Air. Guess we really make a good couple den. =)
*yawn* That's it. I don't think I can take it any longer. I think I'm off to bed now. Nite peeps!!
*yawn* That's it. I don't think I can take it any longer. I think I'm off to bed now. Nite peeps!!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Untitled
X: What did you eat for dinner?
Y: Rice. Fried rice.
X: OMG. Rice has been James Bond-ed.
(A conversation about dinner can turn into a lame joke.)
X: See? You both got wet because of me.
Y, Z: ......
(We were talking about water balloons.)
X: So. What did you do today?
Y: Nothing.
X: Nothing at all?
Y: Nothing.
X: Wow. Ok. I'm so hurt right now. You didn't miss me at all. You didn't even think of me. Wow.
Y: What? That was a trick question?! Of course I miss you. I was thinking bout you the whole day.
X: Hahaha. You're slow.
Y: What?! No I'm not. (Turns to the babies) I'm slow apparently. Wow. Can you believe that?
(Talking to my gf)
X: Eh, yang... Be careful la!
Y: Eh, you call her 'yang'... Stands for 'sayang'?? or goat (chinese)??
X, Z: hahahahahaha....
(Walking to school)
Y: Rice. Fried rice.
X: OMG. Rice has been James Bond-ed.
(A conversation about dinner can turn into a lame joke.)
X: See? You both got wet because of me.
Y, Z: ......
(We were talking about water balloons.)
X: So. What did you do today?
Y: Nothing.
X: Nothing at all?
Y: Nothing.
X: Wow. Ok. I'm so hurt right now. You didn't miss me at all. You didn't even think of me. Wow.
Y: What? That was a trick question?! Of course I miss you. I was thinking bout you the whole day.
X: Hahaha. You're slow.
Y: What?! No I'm not. (Turns to the babies) I'm slow apparently. Wow. Can you believe that?
(Talking to my gf)
X: Eh, yang... Be careful la!
Y: Eh, you call her 'yang'... Stands for 'sayang'?? or goat (chinese)??
X, Z: hahahahahaha....
(Walking to school)
Saturday, September 13, 2008
MAF
It's Mid Autumn Festival, and I'm all alone. I mean it literally. I'm in hostel, dad's at home, mom's with grandparents, and I'm alone in the room. Suddenly, I'm filled with these waves of loneliness. Jein is back in Melaka, LiHui, I have no idea. Mel is with Esther, Kang is all the way in Australia. Michie is going out soon, and me? Well, I've my wives to accompany me, I guess. =/
Sigh. I suddenly feel so lonely. I... I really want my baby right now. I've never felt this way before when Mel used to leave. I always say I don't care that she's not in the room, but always at Esther's. And I really don't. I have no idea why I feel differently today. I feel like, everybody left me alone. I feel so invisible. My baby's asleep, and I really don't want to disturb her. I just wish... I could crawl into bed with her, and have her hold me close. Her presence somehow makes these feelings disperse. How can you blame me for being into her, when she's the only one that really makes the loneliness goes away?
I'm emo, all of a sudden. I suppose, today being Mid Autumn Festival, time to be with friends and family and loved ones, and I'm all alone. I miss my baby. I just want to feel her arms around me, telling me that she's always there for me and that she'll not leave me no matter what. I suddenly feel so alone, like it's me against the whole world. Sigh... I wish my baby was here... I just want to snuggle against her and feel loved. I hate this empty feeling. It's like a sinking rock in my heart. Perhaps this is called, homesick?
I want my panda right now, this very instant. God knows how much I need her right now. When I'm talking to her, somehow, she lifts up my mood. Sometimes, even way back then, I still feel lonely when I'm with friends. But I've never felt that way with my baby. So don't blame me for being so into her. Like I said, she's the only one that ever made me want to cast off my barriers. I feel at home with her, like I can tell her anything under the sun.
The fireworks aren't doing my mood any good, because they serve to remind me of just how empty I feel. I need my baby more then ever right now. My friends...... Aren't here with me anyway. All alone during Mid Autumn Festival. I hate it...
Sigh. I suddenly feel so lonely. I... I really want my baby right now. I've never felt this way before when Mel used to leave. I always say I don't care that she's not in the room, but always at Esther's. And I really don't. I have no idea why I feel differently today. I feel like, everybody left me alone. I feel so invisible. My baby's asleep, and I really don't want to disturb her. I just wish... I could crawl into bed with her, and have her hold me close. Her presence somehow makes these feelings disperse. How can you blame me for being into her, when she's the only one that really makes the loneliness goes away?
I'm emo, all of a sudden. I suppose, today being Mid Autumn Festival, time to be with friends and family and loved ones, and I'm all alone. I miss my baby. I just want to feel her arms around me, telling me that she's always there for me and that she'll not leave me no matter what. I suddenly feel so alone, like it's me against the whole world. Sigh... I wish my baby was here... I just want to snuggle against her and feel loved. I hate this empty feeling. It's like a sinking rock in my heart. Perhaps this is called, homesick?
I want my panda right now, this very instant. God knows how much I need her right now. When I'm talking to her, somehow, she lifts up my mood. Sometimes, even way back then, I still feel lonely when I'm with friends. But I've never felt that way with my baby. So don't blame me for being so into her. Like I said, she's the only one that ever made me want to cast off my barriers. I feel at home with her, like I can tell her anything under the sun.
The fireworks aren't doing my mood any good, because they serve to remind me of just how empty I feel. I need my baby more then ever right now. My friends...... Aren't here with me anyway. All alone during Mid Autumn Festival. I hate it...
cute
Apparently, I am not monogamous. I have, to date, 4 wives. Yeah, just like a Muslim guy. I mean, no offense or anything, I was just commenting on the number. =x So yea, from the 1st to the last: My baby in USA, my handphone (it's the main way we communicate), my laptop (how else can I send her emails?) and my desktop (wide screen, perfect for movies. Enough said.).
Hahaha. So apparently I cant keep my hands off my other wives, which is making my baby jealous. LOL! She says when she comes over, she's going to have a good long talk with my laptop, and I'm not allowed in the room when she does it. LOL! She's goofy.
Talking about goofy. My baby is goofy, but sweet. She would insist on waiting up for me every day. And if she's tired, she'll never admit it. She'll put the blame on everything else, ranging from the baby to the radio. There's even a new addition this time: the air con.
She kept insisting that she's not tired, yet, when I asked her to close her eyes, she fell asleep immediately to the sound of my voice putting her to bed. She's a pig, MY pig. She's so cute that even when she was about to sleep, she told me: Just so you know, it really was the air con. It wasn't me. (She was yawning)
I love her little ways, because they're so cute. Thinking back on her little behaviour and habits, makes me want to smile and shake my head at the same time. She's adorable to a fault. There should be a law against people as irresistable as her. =P I love that panda of mine. Sue me for being so into her, but soon, you'll understand why. =X
(P/s: Perhaps I should start calling her goofball? lol)
Hahaha. So apparently I cant keep my hands off my other wives, which is making my baby jealous. LOL! She says when she comes over, she's going to have a good long talk with my laptop, and I'm not allowed in the room when she does it. LOL! She's goofy.
Talking about goofy. My baby is goofy, but sweet. She would insist on waiting up for me every day. And if she's tired, she'll never admit it. She'll put the blame on everything else, ranging from the baby to the radio. There's even a new addition this time: the air con.
She kept insisting that she's not tired, yet, when I asked her to close her eyes, she fell asleep immediately to the sound of my voice putting her to bed. She's a pig, MY pig. She's so cute that even when she was about to sleep, she told me: Just so you know, it really was the air con. It wasn't me. (She was yawning)
I love her little ways, because they're so cute. Thinking back on her little behaviour and habits, makes me want to smile and shake my head at the same time. She's adorable to a fault. There should be a law against people as irresistable as her. =P I love that panda of mine. Sue me for being so into her, but soon, you'll understand why. =X
(P/s: Perhaps I should start calling her goofball? lol)
