grouchy

elo peeps! i'm backkkkkkkkkkkk!!!
well, u see, Laura landed herself in the goddamn hospital. all coz of a mosquito bite. i don't think many of you ppl out there noe this, but i was down with dengue fever. fever that wont go away, low platlet count...... the thing is, despite the red rashes that appear on my body, my blood test still came up negative for the dengue test.... weird, eh? so basically, i spent 5 days in the friggin hospital... not that the nurses there weren't alright, but it's just that, I HATE THE HOSPITALS!! i mean, visiting dad in IJN last year was suffer enough, and now, it's MY turn pulak??! omg! seriously? i dislike that place... the only times that were bearable, were the times when mom n dad were there, and occasionally, a visit from my frenz... the other times, were spent staring at space, spacing out, sleeping n occasionally brooding. i was so supposed to go MLK on 15/16 dec.... but end up i cant go. SUCKS. i really really really wanted to go..... ARGH! GODDAMNMIT!! I WANNA GO MELAKA!! f*** f*** f***.....
i tell u, i can go on & on & on about this cz I REALLY WANTED TO GO!!! :(
gosh... my one n only plan AWAY from kl n sban, and i cant go... :( sucks. looks like my holidays are confined to kl n sban, just like normal schooling days, the only difference being that i dont have to study during this period. GOD!! i feel so pathetic... 4 mths of holidays, n i'm acting the same as during NON holidays...
sometimes, i rather have a shorter holiday, but go to other places. i dun ask for much, just perhaps, a trip down South, a trip up North. at least, somewhere to the South of sban, and North, away from kl. sigh. this is my holidays. KL - Sban - KL - Sban...........
i'm full of grouses today, but, sometimes, i cant help but feel kinda envious. i mean, hearing my frenz go here, go there.... and all i do, is travel to n fro kl - sban..... yucks! i mean, i nvr even went to mlk.... wth!!

long overdue

we celebrated grandma's bday on the 2nd dec. we went to this chinese restaurant 'Six Happiness', near grandparents' place. between us, we discussed the menu, and finally decided on: fish, pork, chicken, yam ring, vegetables, shark's fin, longevity noodles and the longan/white fungus dessert. aunty layling baked a 'high fiber cheese cake'. YUM! this is truly a sinful indulgence. :P truly like this cake.

(P/s: i think blogger got problem uploading pics. been trying so hard to upload the pix. :( so i guess another time ba.... )

Maroon 5

i'm depressed. kinda. let's see... i've gotten my results on thursday 29th nov. to my utter horror n shock, i actually failed 1 subject. ok. so it's not such a big deal, seeing that there are others out there who have also failed. the big deal about this failing, is the fact that, this is the 1st time i'm failing, on record no doubt. ok fine, so there is this 1 time i failed my chinese monthly test in march 2004, but den again, chinese is not my forte, and 95% of the class was cheating anyway.

but that failure is not wat i want to talk about, or rather, rant about. knowing about my failure, the big 'N' on my transcript, was, IS a big blow to my self-esteem, my confidence, my pride. and i just realized, i'm PROUD. i mean, proud as in, there is always a certain image i wish to project into people's minds, and i never ever voluntarily shown any weakness to anyone in public. so i might break down in the comfort of my room or bath stall, but never in public. no matter how much it hurts, i always, always blink away the tears. i laugh off the hurt, i might stalk away in angry, i might be goddamn sarcastic or hurting in my statements, but i never, ever, show my pain n hurt.

'hunt or be hunted' is the Law of the Jungle. for me, it's 'hurt or be hurt'. tat's why i dun show much emotions. perhaps the occasion burst of anger, but never sorrow. i wave it off with a flick of the hand. but, the more nonchalant i look or portray, the more i truly care about that issue. the more i say i dun care, the more i care.

the failure thing sank in after sometime. i admit, i did cry myself to sleep, for a short while that night. but that is the past. i'm moving on, using this as a wake up call. this would serve well as a lesson, not to be too cocky, too proud, and never ever do my revisions last minute. so studying is a goddamn boring thing to do at times. but i don't ever want to fail anymore. i HATE failing. my ego, my pride cannot allow myself to fail anymore. it's time to put my brain to good use. i guess. :P

林宇中 – 淋雨中

林宇中 – 淋雨中

风吹乱的头发，
在我眼前挣扎，
把想你剪成几段，
沙沙的彷徨。

雨有一点急躁，
在我脸上涂鸦，
把心情画得乱七八糟，
滴答滴答响。
我手上没有伞，
分手的信有一张。
我没有哭是雨水渗透，
写你爱他那一行。

我在淋雨中，
看你步上彩虹，
我分不了轻重，
你幸福我该否祝福。
我在淋雨中，
背着你走不动，
我还有一个梦，
被雨水带离我的天空。
我的笑容会很酷，
若和你们巧碰，
放心我会收起我的痛。

我手上没有伞，
分手的信有一张。
我没有哭是雨水渗透，
写你爱他那一行。
我在淋雨中，
背着你走不动，
我还有一个梦，
被雨水带离我的天空。
我的笑容会很酷，
若和你们巧碰，
放心我会收起我的痛。

我在淋雨中，
看你步上彩虹，
我分不了轻重，
你幸福我该否祝福。
我在淋雨中，
背着你走不动，
我还有一个梦，
被雨水带离我的天空。
我的笑容会很酷，
若和你们巧碰，
放心我会收起我的痛。

停雨之后我不会再哭。。。

just a song my friend, Sze Jein intro-ed to me. i really enjoy listening to this song. kinda sad, but nice..... :D
btw. i most definitely am NOT emo-ing now. :P

dissapointed.. somewhat

i started off, wanting to blog. finally having the mood to do so. but somehow, i lost the mood.

was talking to mom just now, about how certain friends take you for granted. perhaps i'm being sensitive, perhaps i'm reading too much into it. but friends who expects you to be able to accommodate their plans all the time, as if the whole world revolves around them. i dunno. perhaps i was expecting too much out of people i call friends. maybe it's my fault, seeing that i'm always the one bugging others to go out with me. perhaps people see me as annoying, irritating, and basically a nuisance.

perhaps it's all my fault. perhaps i'm just PMS-ing. but when i think about this, i cant help but feel sad. i wish, for once, i'm nt the one always looking out for others, nt the one always wanting to meet up, organize get-togethers. i want to hang out, cz i enjoy your company, but mz u treat me like shit? ok, maybe shit is not the right word. u keep saying how much u want to meet up, yet....

'do NOT take me for granted' (Wong, 2007)

laksa n pasta.. perfect companions

today, met up with ms choong, ying li and hong ee. together with mom, we had lunch at 'laksa' at kemayan square. mom n i waited for them at the shop, as mom flatly refused to go to branch school. it was kinda the right decision, as ying li fell down prior to reaching her car, parked just outside the school. poor girl! kesian her.. so kelian!

neways, we had a good lunch, and proceeded to chatting till 5 something... i tell u, it was a damn long lunch! we started at 12.30 and ended way past 5... gosh! it was a nice meal, the company was wonderful. :) guess hong ee has changed, as in his attitude, which is quite refreshing. yet, in some sense, he remains idealistic, not realistic, but i guess it's harmless.

even chit-chatting can be tiring, as mom n i 'collapsed' after the loooong lunch. we took a nap till almost 8. she woke me up n we started preparing our own dinner. :) pasta again, but it was nice, even if i say so myself.

CYY

last saturday, dad brought us to my fren'z place, at Klawang. it was a kinda long journey, but quite worth it, i would say. the fren we're talking about here is Chong Yuan Yih, my high sch mate. had a nice chat with her. her bro.....

'jie.. tat one is girl or boy?' (points to someone in the picture)
'.....' (sis ignores him)
"u think is a girl or boy?" (I asked the bro)
'hmm... is girl.. i think..'
'den u're a girl or boy?'
"hmm... u say ler?"
'boy!..... no no.. girl...' (i laughed b4 he said no)

i look like guy meh? aiyo! hair short nia...haha.. funny guy. neways, once me n YY started talking, non-stop de... even when dad came in and asked me to go out, i jz smiled at him, but kinda ignored his suggestion that we left. then after sometime, mom actually called me. =.=" so had no choice but to go out. (we were in her room, looking at pics in her laptop) when we went out, and all prepared to leave, dad was talking to her dad. swt swt! so v jz stood at the doorway there, n chat summore.

we reached her place at around noon, and left around 2. 30?? short visit, as mom was kinda tired out.
short but sweet. pretty enjoyable. :)

random pic pt3

HuiPing n I, at Border's in Time's Square. :D
Look at the time.....
look what we were doing.
surprise snap when we met up. :)

take a look at this

random pics pt2

look at this fella... sigh... dunno wat to do with her.... *shakes head*
ganli mz really miss her beloved. :P
i was having exam stress. hehe
stress + jobless
ewww!! disgusting.